Where the Future is Just Too Complicated

For what seems like forever, football managers the world over have been campaigning for the introduction of advanced technology to be used in the game.






Saturday's match between Manchester City and Bolton stirred up the debate once more, as the blues had a Paul Dickov header ruled out, with Bolton boss Sam Allardyce claiming that, despite TV replays proving inconclusive, the correct decision would have been reached "within a minute or two".

The supporters of video technology point to other sports where video replays are used to good effect. Cricket, both codes of Rugby and American Football all take advantage of video replays to determine the right course of action. The doubters however, argue that in the above sports the video referee is only used in cases where the ball is already out of play whereas in football, play could continue for several minutes without stoppage following a goal-line incident.

But one sport has the answer to the very same problem that football is struggling to solve, and has had it for decades.

Forget the notion of slow motion cameras, ultasonic chips in the balls, logic gate devices or Andy Gray's virtual picture, in the low-tech sport of Ice Hockey they've been using old-fashioned human intuition to make that crucial decision.
Behind each goal is one bloke with a button. When he sees the puck cross the line, he hits the button to illuminate a big red light. What on earth could be simpler?

It'd be even easier in the beautiful game too. Rather than the goal official being sat a good few yards behind the goal as they are in the NHL, our referees can get close to the action.

You know it's so simple, it just might work.

It's Just One Big Reunion

Merry Christmas everyone! Santa has been and emptied his sack, left me a brand spanking new iPod and other paraphernalia and I'm sat here now after being stuffed with turkey.





I've so far managed to lay-off the booze, for today at least, instead choosing to go out in Pudsey on Christmas Eve night for copious amounts of alcohol.

Having gone to school and sixth form college in the town, it's fairly common to see the old school mate now and again but never before last night had I crossed paths with so many familiar faces.

In just a few minutes of setting foot in the first of many Pudsey hostileries, I'd come across a friend who I had previously gone to school with, done A-Levels with and worked on this film with. Having spent a gap year trekking across Australia, she's now preparing to go to Nottingham Trent University, two years after she'd originally planned.
There were plenty others that I could go on and on about, ex school-mates, ex rugby team-mates, I could go on.

It was just hard to believe that a boozy night in a few ropey pubs and bars would be like a real-live version of friends reunited.

Happy Christmas everyone!

That is So Unfair!

See that person there? That's Kevin the Teenager. One of the most popular characters from the TV show "Harry Enfield & Chums" which took pride of place on the BBC's comedy line-up in the late 1990's.


He was a comedic depiction of the typical teenager as any parent of teenagers would testify and his trademark line "That is SO unfair!" is one of the most remembered phrases in modern TV.

And today it emerged that the Sun is now edited by Kevin the Teenager.

The television licence fee, the primary source of funding for the BBC, will increase by £3.95 to £135.45 per year for a colour television licence. The increases were actually less that the BBC's requested "above inflation" increase for what it claimed was needed to cover spiralling costs, the relocation of BBC Sport from London to Manchester and concerns over the cost of the digital switchover in 2012 whilst the National Union of Journalists supported the BBC's request over concerns of job losses.

But not everyone is happy. The BBC funding has always been a sore point for commercial media organisations who would love nothing more to be as respected and trusted as Auntie, but who are bound by commercial pressures and the whims of their advertisers.

The Sun today ranted on, with it's usual plethoric use of BOLD CAPITALS, that such increases in the TV licence fee have no place in their idealistic immigrant free, human rights devoid world.

Apparently the BBC wastes my cash on programmes that I don't want to watch, or so says an inaccurately written piece of garbage. You know that the "journalist" in question (term used very loosely) is talking rubbish when he claims that none of the BBC's rivals receive any TV licence funding - not a single penny, completely oblivious to the fact that Channel Four are currently benefiting from a £70m cheque from the very same fee.

The poor audience figures are cited as a primary reason why the TV licence should be cut. What isn't mentioned is that public broadcasting is not about attracting audience ratings, it's about meeting the diverse needs of the populace. Producing trash TV to appeal to the lowest common denominator is the realm of ITV, not the BBC whose remit is to produce quality entertainment, informative and educational programming.
Now your typical Sun reader would be pretty confused as he read 'quality', would understand to a degree the word 'entertainment' but then would be completely lost by the time he reached the words 'informative' and 'educational', so would your typical Sun columnist.

The other sore point is the BBC website. Rather than having a quality website with accurate journalism and outstanding feature writing which can be read across the world free from advertising, the Sun would prefer us to be bombarded with adverts for 'online casino' and 'big money bingo'.

But none of this is surprising. The owner of the aforementioned rag happens to be Rupert Murdoch, the very same individual who owns Britain's biggest multi-channel broadcaster, BSkyB.

Murdoch, who has made no secret of his dislike for the BBC and it's funding is essentially telling us that whilst we should be outraged at being asked to pay £135 a year to watch quality news, documentaries, sport, entertainment and of course, Kevin the Teenager, we should still be racing to the phone to pay even more to watch the proverbial TV wheelie bin containing "Cirque de Celebrite", "Sexcetera" and "Eurotrash".

But what Murdoch or the Sun won't be telling you is that tonight, the BBC will allow you to watch both sport and a movie for £10.96 per month. Mr Murdoch on the other hand, will charge you nearer £50 for the month for the same privilege.

Now, who was ripping off who again?

Don't Do Anything

Stay inside, lock all your doors and windows, unplug the phone and keep the kids safe in their bedrooms.











Today being told that we're all going to die again by police chief Ian Blair who claims that the terrorists are onto something. OK, so we were all going to be horribly killed back in October, but this time it's for real and we should all stay inside.

Apparently, there is no "concrete intelligence" to suggest that anything specific is going to happen anywhere specific over the festive period. But still, we're in grave danger and rather than running the risk of being confronted by a complete lunatic, we should just put our feet up in from of the Christmas TV.

Not only that, even if you weren't blown to pieces by a religious extremist, you'll probably die from the inevitable flu pandemic which threatens to wipe out the entire population.

And even if you were stupid enough to want to leave the house after all these justified and accurate warnings, you wouldn't get anywhere. The plane's aren't flying, the roads are clogged up and the trains, well, they never run anyway.

Just stay at home at don't do anything, OK?

Off the Record

Time for a quick straw poll: Whilst you've been doing your Christmas shopping this year, how many of you have been to a 'proper' record shop?

I'm not talking about the likes of Virgin, Music Zone and HMV, I mean 'proper' record shops.






Beano's, Europe's biggest second-hand record store is set to close it's doors for the last time after seeing business fall in recent years. After competing with the multi-national chains and the Internet, the Croydon store has decided to throw in the towel and sell-off it's remaining stock.

It's just a shame that independent retailers are being ousted this way. Surprisingly, Dave Lashmar doesn't blame the rise of the Internet for his businesses decline. As someone who has always maintained that shops still have an edge over their electronic counterparts, Lashmar has resisted the temptation to branch his business onto the world wide web.
The web however could well be the death-nell for numerous independent music dealers. If we're not importing chart CD's from the VAT-free haven of Jersey or raiding eBay auctions, we're downloading music from legal, illegal and "miscellaneous" channels.

At worst, we're going into supermarkets and HMV and handing our hard-earned to anonymous shareholders who staff their stores with minimum wage workers, many (but not all) of whom will know little of the subject matter and who wouldn't be able to provide you with gig tickets for the next event at the Cockpit or Students Union.

In Leeds, we're lucky that we've still got two 'real' record stores. We've got Crash Records on Eastgate which is held in high regard in the music scene and we've got the lesser known Jumbo Records who still seem to be doing a strong trade despite having to compete with the nearby high-street chains of HMV, Virgin and Music Zone.

Hopefully these stores will still remain for years to come. The owner of Beano's is more critical of the decline of the local area, as evidenced from the number of people who 'used' to shop in Croydon. The same can't be said of Leeds.

Here in Yorkshire we have the biggest financial district away from the capital, much of that being based on the fact we have a successful city centre and retail district, one that attracts tourists from across the North.

Whilst most of us have shifted our spending patterns to supermarkets and computers, it's still a shame to see true retailers vanish in this way.

The Hazy World of Pro Football

Not that it's anything new in professional football, but the referee for last night's Carling Cup quarter final between Liverpool and Arsenal couldn't see a thing.




That's not because he was useless, it's because the Anfield pitch had become shrouded in the Mersey fog, much to the dissatisfaction of Rafa Benitez and Arsene Wenger, who for the first time claimed he could actually see something on a football pitch.

As the crowds walked home, the TV crews packed their cameras and the Arsenal team headed back to the airport, the arguments raged into the night about fixture congestion. Liverpool and Arsenal must now reconvene their Carling Cup semi-final engagements and meet again in the FA Cup in addition to fulfilling their league requirements. In short, the two sides are looking at 7 games in 22 days. Not surprisingly, messieurs Benitez and Wenger are far from amused.

They could have it worse though. Don't let the '7 games' thing fool you. Last night was not intended to be anything other that a reserve team kick-about in a third-rate competition. Neither side is a supporter of the Carling Cup contest (until it suits them) and neither side had any intention of fielding a first eleven last night, nor will they for the rearranged fixture in January.
So that realistically means six games in 22 days or in simpler terms, 2 games a week with a day to spare.

Yet despite this, the avid supporters of our national game deem this excessive but lets look at what supporters, players and coaches of other sports have to endure.

The Edmonton Oilers of the NHL Ice Hockey league will have taken the ice no fewer than 14 times between December 2nd and 31st. The LA Lakers are even more hard done by, appearing in 16 games in the same period, four of which take place with less than a 24 hour turnaround. And lets not forget that in the States, travelling to away fixtures is about equivalent of European footballers jetting across the continent rather than making a simple bus journey across the city or at worst, a 45 minute flight from London to the North West.

But still, lets show some sympathy for our elite band of millionaires who might have to put in a little extra graft this Christmas

Savage Garden ought to be Rich by Now

Having just got back from the local gym where I had the misfortune of enduring MTV Dance blaring across the room, I couldn't help but notice how dance music is, quite frankly, terrible.

Not only that, but it's not actually 'dance' music. Any half-wit can make a dance track with just a current song, some simple equipment, a Page 3 model and a 15-year old chav.
Granted, these arguments are hardly new. Dance music has always been pretty pants and cover versions are always bad. The only cover version I'd say was better that the original was Natalie Imbruglia's 1997 rendition of Trena Rayne's "Torn". Apart from that, they're all pretty dreadful.

But anyway, here's the perfect recepie for a night-club No1. All you have to do is take a good song that was really popular but hasn't been played in a while. Savage Garden's 'Truly, Madly, Deeply" would be ideal:



Then, take your 15-year old chav (two if you can find enough of them) and give him an electronic drum kit and a sampler and just tell them that they can push any buttons they want.
Come back ten minutes later with a video camera and a Page 3 model. Take the tape that the 15-year old chavs have recorded and then film the aforementioned woman dancing to said tape.

The result should be something like this:



Think of a 'club name' to make you sound brilliant, give said tape to MTV and hey-presto, you'll be rich!

I only hope Savage Garden made Cascada and Co pay through the nose for a copyright licence.

Fish Shop Etiquette

When visiting the local Fish & Chip shop, it is important to remember the proper standards of behaviour that befit such establishments.





When entering the said building it is only proper to wait in line, get to the counter, order fish and chips (but always refer to them as 'once', 'twice' or 'three times' etc depending on how many lots you want) and then leave.
If you are the awkward sort, you may order 'special' items such as chicken nuggets but only on the pretence that you shout your order over the counter to the fishmonger who will have them ready by the time you get to the front.

You do not, under any circumstances whatsoever do the following:
Enter the shop and wait in line until you reach the counter. Once you get to the counter, read off a list of various special items, including chicken, pineapple fritters and the like. Proceed to complain that said items will take 5-10 minutes to prepare and then cause a queue to reach half-way down the A657.

In fact, it's time fish and chip shops were banned from selling anything other than fish, chips and Dandelion and Burdock.

Making Your Mind Up

The world is falling apart, the oceans are getting deeper and we're going to have to learn how to swim by 2014 if we don't do something now.




At the risk of sounding like Jeremy Clarkson, I'm not entirely convinced by this 'go green' campaigning that's been doing the rounds.

My scepticism isn't exactly diluted by our elected band of leaders either who don't seem to be in unanimous agreement over which direction we should be heading in.

Take Gordon Brown's "green taxes" from a few weeks ago. According to him we should all leave our cars at home and stop taking advantage of the 5p flights offered by Ryanair, easyjet and Jet2. Doing such a thing is bad for the environment and for being so evil, we should all be made to pay for our transgresses. Apparently, £10 extra in airport tax is all that it will take for us to repent our sins and avoid an eternity of damnation.

Now all that would be fine if our glorious leaders didn't keep contradicting themselves.
I could happily accept that by driving to work I'm killing the West Vietnamese gumbo tree and that for doing so I should treated with contempt, if I didn't then see the 'Two Jags' Deputy Prime Minister jumping in a limousine to travel less than 250 yards to give a speech on using public transport.

So today's news that the government are pressing ahead with their airport expansion plans which include new runways at Heathrow and Stansted (a major base for low-cost airline Ryanair) doesn't really convince me to join Greenpeace and race to the Toyota Prius dealership.
On one hand Gordon Brown is telling us not to fly because that's naughty but on the other hand, Transport Secretary Douglas Alexander is increasing the supply of air travel and therefore encouraging an increase in demand.

It can't just be me who's confused by the plans to introduce green airport taxes and expand airports to fuel an extra demand in air travel, but I'm sure that there is a perfectly logical explanation.

Poor Wayne

Wayne Rooney is in the news again and he's not a happy bunny.










The Manchester United and England forward is spouting his mouth off because the Premiership's referee's won't look after him and protect him from all the big bad opponents and that it is affecting his game.

"For some reason refs think I should be able to protect myself without their help," says the 21-year old. Well yes Wayne, you should. You're a big boy now and you've got to learn to look after yourself.

What he fails to understand is that he actually brings it on himself. He's a good player no question but he's also easier to wind up than a jack-in-a-box. Opponents the world over know that a little rough-housing here and there will put him off his game and make him lash out. Make him do that and you've beat him.

Quit whinging Wayne and get on with it.

Christmas on the Buses

Today sees all of Leeds' buses stay firmly locked away in the garage as drivers at First Leeds take industrial action over pension reforms.

In most cities, when one company goes on strike there would still be some form of bus service, albeit a skeleton one, as other operators pick up the pieces. Not in Leeds though.

In the 1980’s, bus travel in the UK changed. Rather than having a centrally funded public transport system that covered every nook and cranny of the City, local transport authorities in every UK city barring London were then ordered to sell off the contracts of all routes to the highest bidder. Cities like Sheffield and Manchester got lucky; contracts were split between multiple operators in addition to the cities Supertram scheme but in Leeds, First got away with the loot. Only Arriva operate any real competition but only through routes than run through East Leeds en-route to Wakefield.

London was never sold. Public transport in the capital was like the family silver that you do not sell, no matter how garish it is. Today in the ‘big smoke’ you have a fully integrated rail, bus and underground system. You can buy a rail ticket and if the train doesn’t show, you can use that ticket on the bus which is never more than 6 minutes away, regardless of who operated it.

Compare to Leeds. You buy a train ticket and when the train doesn’t show, you’re stuck there until it does. You could try and catch a bus. But that usually doesn’t show either and even if it does, you can’t use your £3 train ticket, you have to buy a £3 bus ticket instead.

Keeping London public also gave the transport boffins in Westminster something to point to when we all claimed public transport went wrong. As far as governments are concerned, if public transport worked in the capital (and it does – brilliantly), then public transport everywhere else must work (and it doesn’t) Privatisation on the bus industry was designed to give us, the travelling public the choice as to who to buy our services from and the idea was that this increased competition would improve services for us all.
And in Leeds we do have a choice, just what Thatcher wanted us to have. We can use First Leeds, or we can walk. So when First drivers don't go to work, we don't go to work.

So today the local radio stations have sent an army of reporters to find bemused commuters stood at bus-stops and have had various vox-pops from the streets of Leeds of people saying how much of a disgrace it is and pointing the finger one way or the other.
Radio Aire are firmly attacking the drivers, but seeing as they have various advertising agreements with First, they were hardly going to blame the operators. BBC Radio Leeds has been a bit more balanced, but it has to be because we pay it to be.

So who is to blame?

The dispute is over a final salary pension scheme. First want rid of it; the drivers want to keep it. First Leeds’ directors, who will no doubt continue to enjoy a final salary pension, insist that because we are all nasty and mean enough to start living longer, then it’s employee’s should start paying for that privilege. The drivers disagree and today they stand outside the various garages waving placards and will do so as well on Saturday 23^rd December and Christmas Eve.

First’s propaganda in the media has venomously attacked it’s employees in a deliberate attempt to turn public anger away from it’s own inabilities and onto the drivers.
It’s persistent mention of an “pay offer above the rate of inflation” is laughable irony. This is a company that makes a huge fanfare about how generous it is when it suits them, but keeps themselves eerily quiet when they also impose “above the rate of inflation” fare increases to supplement 2005’s £115.2m profits.

Reader’s here will know that First are hardly my favourite company in the world and at the risk of sounding subjective, they’re going to get the blame from me. Strike action is almost always the last resort of employee’s, especially at this time of year. Whilst trade unions are no angels, First have evidently dug their heels in too far. For a firm that is often bemoaning the recruitment problems it faces (even after the increase in Eastern European workers), they are hardly endearing themselves to potential employees.
First’s slogan “transforming travel” rings true. They have systematically dismantled and meaningful services and replaced them with packed vehicles running profitable routes as it suits them. The result? We have today’s situation where one operator’s inabilities bring the whole city to a standstill.

Happy travelling people.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Happy Birthday to me indeed. Thank-you for caring.










This day in 1985 some child who would go on to bore you all with inane ramblings on an Internet blog named 'A View from the Bar' was born.

Here's some other interesting things that have happened today:

Of course, John Lennon was shot dead in New York in 1980, it's Constitution Day in Romania and Sammy Davis Junior was born in 1925. The US declared war of Japan in 1941 and in 1976, the Eagles released Hotel California.

And seeing as it's my Birthday, I have no will have objection if you decided to buy me presents.

Bargain PC World

According to the website of computer retailer PC World, the company is now up for sale.






Potential buyers can purchase the retail giant, which makes a sizable contribution to it's parent company's £7bn annual turnover, for the bargain price of £30!

Buyers are also advised that an extended warranty is available at £6.95 per month whilst home installation is another £34.99.

It's Art I Tell You

It's not like looking at a painting in Leeds Art Gallery or admiring some abstract steel structure in the local park. We are talking of course about....err.......lapdancing.




Well, that's what the Norwegians think of it anyway.

After an appeal, the owner of Diamond Go Go Bar in Oslo have won a case to make lapdancing clubs across Norway exempt from the 25% VAT rate on the grounds that strip-tease is an art form.

Good on-em I say. When you live in the most expensive city in the World, you've got to have a little fun now and again!

The War on Christmas

This morning that bastion of truth, honesty, straight thinking and well produced journalism, the Sun, set out on a crusade against what it claims is the 'War on Christmas'.






Every year we get stories in low-rent rags such as the Sun and Daily Mail about how anything remotely festive is banned because "it offends religious minorities." Heck, there's even a book about it.
Today's Sun has even printed a list of cases, even printing words in BOLD CAPITALS to make sure that I understand them and are equally outraged.
The argument falls down though when they list what has/hasn't been banned. Here's a snippet:

A COURT banned a millionaire from putting up his annual charity light display.

So, banned because of religious minorities, or "banned" because (presumably), he didn't get the planning permission that is required to erect commercial illuminated displays?

A SANTA was prevented from touring a town because his sleigh does not have a seatbelt.

In other words, A SANTA was prevented from using public roads in an un-roadworthy vehicle. Presumably the Sun would be happy for a drunken 16-year old to drive an un-taxed, un-MOT'd F-Reg Fiesta laden with presents through a village square on the proviso that he wore A SANTA costume.

There's more where that came from and I dare say that we've not heard the last of the Sun's campaign to allow people to break the law just because it's Christmas.


And the outrage hasn't stopped there. The right-wing press are creaming themselves over Channel 4's decision to allow a fully veiled Muslim to deliver their Christmas speech.

For you non-Brits, a bit of background knowledge is probably needed:
Every Christmas day, families used to gather around the TV as the Queen delivered her Christmas speech to the nation. It had to be done, usually because your Gran was a devout supporter of the monarchy. Today however it's different and support and interest in the Royal family has continued to wain. Buckingham Palace lost a lot of public support over their actions following Diana's death and a catalogue of gaffs have never seen them recover their image to what it once was.
Channel 4 spotted that and each year at the same time Her Majesty went on air, they broadcast their "alternate speech". Previous years have seen the Beckhams, the Simpsons, Ali G, Sharon Osbourne and Ali G address the British public and this year will see a woman known only as "Khadija" step in front of the camera.

Of course, we are all supposed to be outraged by this. I mean, how dare a national television network broadcast images of a veiled Muslim into the homes across of a multi-cultural and so-called 'racial tolerant' nation such as Britain and how dare they give a non-Christian an opportunity to give their views on the most 'Christian' day of the year (despite the fact that Christianity stole Christmas from the Pagans). Interestingly, nobody seemed to care when Sasha Baron-Cohen (as Ali G) appeared on our screens a few December 25th's back, despite the fact that he is Jewish.

So today people, as you go about your daily business, remember to be outraged.

Vacancy: Football Manager, Location: Anywhere in Yorkshire

Yorkshire's job centres have been pretty busy so far this football season, with all four of the county's Championship managers being handed their P45's.




Firstly, Leeds United manager parted company with Kevin Blackwell. After guiding them to a Championship play-off final last season, the former Sheffield United assistant left Leeds staring relegation to League One in the face and Chairman Ken Bates wasted no time in giving Blackwell the boot and bringing in his old mate Dennis Wise.

Exactly one month later, Sheffield Wednesday boss Paul Sturrock was kicked out of Hillsborough after leaving the club in 21st position and another month went by before Barnsley manager Andy Ritchie joined South Yorkshire's dole queue.

Today, Hull City's Phil Parkinson has completed the quartet after just six months and four wins from 21 games in charge at the KC Stadium.

The league tables don't make enjoyable reading either if you happen to be a Yorkshire sports fan. Of the three relegation spaces, two are occupied by Leeds United and Hull City, Barnsley lie just two points above the drop zone. Sheffield Wednesday can look down on the rest of the region with their comparatively lofty fourteenth league place.

Away from the Coca Cola Championship, things aren't exactly rosy either. Sheffield United are holding their own in the Premiership but in League One, Doncaster Bradford and Huddersfield are struggling, whilst Rotherham are looking nervously at the relegation trap door behind them. In fact, only 2nd place Scunthorpe have anything to crow about.

Quite clearly, we're not that good at this football lark. Perhaps we'd be better off sticking to Rugby instead.

Don't Have Fun This Christmas or You'll Make us Mad

As millions of Britons hit the high street this December in the run-up to Christmas, Her Majesty's Customs Officers can't help but step in and spoil the party.



Whilst most of us will head to the local City Centre or clog up the Ring Roads queuing for the car park to gargantuan out-of-town shopping centres, thousands of others will leave Blightly alltogether and head to the States.

Not only will they take advantage to the favourable tax rates (as low as 5% in New York against 17.5% in the UK), but they are now encouraged by the fact that a £1 coin will get you almost $2 ($1.98 to be precise). That gives us Brits massive spending power on the other side of the Atlantic.

But the Customs officers aren't happy. Not content impounding cars from cross-channel ferry "booze-cruises" and in some cases, selling the vehicle without the owners knowledge to pay for an alcohol and tobacco duty bill that has already been legally paid within the European Union, they now take great enjoyment in pointing out that we aren't allowed to stock our suitcases with cut-price iPods, laptops and designer jeans from across the pond.

The legalities of it are that any item with a value in excess of £145 (although there is no definition whether that 'value' is retail or trade value) is subject to tax when you land at the UK airport.
There are obviously ways around this. For instance, a laptop computer, camcorder or iPod can easily be disguised as something you took with you in the first place, provided that the customs officer doesn't stumble across the packaging in another suitcase but it's hardly practical to go opening Christmas presents you bought for your granddaughter or teenage son.

Most of us would hope that common sense would prevail and that customs officers at Heathrow will realise that a 58-year old woman with an iPod and pair of Levi's for her grandson isn't a major threat to the economic stability of the nation but then again, perhaps we have too much faith in them.