Where the Future is Just Too Complicated

For what seems like forever, football managers the world over have been campaigning for the introduction of advanced technology to be used in the game.






Saturday's match between Manchester City and Bolton stirred up the debate once more, as the blues had a Paul Dickov header ruled out, with Bolton boss Sam Allardyce claiming that, despite TV replays proving inconclusive, the correct decision would have been reached "within a minute or two".

The supporters of video technology point to other sports where video replays are used to good effect. Cricket, both codes of Rugby and American Football all take advantage of video replays to determine the right course of action. The doubters however, argue that in the above sports the video referee is only used in cases where the ball is already out of play whereas in football, play could continue for several minutes without stoppage following a goal-line incident.

But one sport has the answer to the very same problem that football is struggling to solve, and has had it for decades.

Forget the notion of slow motion cameras, ultasonic chips in the balls, logic gate devices or Andy Gray's virtual picture, in the low-tech sport of Ice Hockey they've been using old-fashioned human intuition to make that crucial decision.
Behind each goal is one bloke with a button. When he sees the puck cross the line, he hits the button to illuminate a big red light. What on earth could be simpler?

It'd be even easier in the beautiful game too. Rather than the goal official being sat a good few yards behind the goal as they are in the NHL, our referees can get close to the action.

You know it's so simple, it just might work.

It's Just One Big Reunion

Merry Christmas everyone! Santa has been and emptied his sack, left me a brand spanking new iPod and other paraphernalia and I'm sat here now after being stuffed with turkey.





I've so far managed to lay-off the booze, for today at least, instead choosing to go out in Pudsey on Christmas Eve night for copious amounts of alcohol.

Having gone to school and sixth form college in the town, it's fairly common to see the old school mate now and again but never before last night had I crossed paths with so many familiar faces.

In just a few minutes of setting foot in the first of many Pudsey hostileries, I'd come across a friend who I had previously gone to school with, done A-Levels with and worked on this film with. Having spent a gap year trekking across Australia, she's now preparing to go to Nottingham Trent University, two years after she'd originally planned.
There were plenty others that I could go on and on about, ex school-mates, ex rugby team-mates, I could go on.

It was just hard to believe that a boozy night in a few ropey pubs and bars would be like a real-live version of friends reunited.

Happy Christmas everyone!

That is So Unfair!

See that person there? That's Kevin the Teenager. One of the most popular characters from the TV show "Harry Enfield & Chums" which took pride of place on the BBC's comedy line-up in the late 1990's.


He was a comedic depiction of the typical teenager as any parent of teenagers would testify and his trademark line "That is SO unfair!" is one of the most remembered phrases in modern TV.

And today it emerged that the Sun is now edited by Kevin the Teenager.

The television licence fee, the primary source of funding for the BBC, will increase by £3.95 to £135.45 per year for a colour television licence. The increases were actually less that the BBC's requested "above inflation" increase for what it claimed was needed to cover spiralling costs, the relocation of BBC Sport from London to Manchester and concerns over the cost of the digital switchover in 2012 whilst the National Union of Journalists supported the BBC's request over concerns of job losses.

But not everyone is happy. The BBC funding has always been a sore point for commercial media organisations who would love nothing more to be as respected and trusted as Auntie, but who are bound by commercial pressures and the whims of their advertisers.

The Sun today ranted on, with it's usual plethoric use of BOLD CAPITALS, that such increases in the TV licence fee have no place in their idealistic immigrant free, human rights devoid world.

Apparently the BBC wastes my cash on programmes that I don't want to watch, or so says an inaccurately written piece of garbage. You know that the "journalist" in question (term used very loosely) is talking rubbish when he claims that none of the BBC's rivals receive any TV licence funding - not a single penny, completely oblivious to the fact that Channel Four are currently benefiting from a £70m cheque from the very same fee.

The poor audience figures are cited as a primary reason why the TV licence should be cut. What isn't mentioned is that public broadcasting is not about attracting audience ratings, it's about meeting the diverse needs of the populace. Producing trash TV to appeal to the lowest common denominator is the realm of ITV, not the BBC whose remit is to produce quality entertainment, informative and educational programming.
Now your typical Sun reader would be pretty confused as he read 'quality', would understand to a degree the word 'entertainment' but then would be completely lost by the time he reached the words 'informative' and 'educational', so would your typical Sun columnist.

The other sore point is the BBC website. Rather than having a quality website with accurate journalism and outstanding feature writing which can be read across the world free from advertising, the Sun would prefer us to be bombarded with adverts for 'online casino' and 'big money bingo'.

But none of this is surprising. The owner of the aforementioned rag happens to be Rupert Murdoch, the very same individual who owns Britain's biggest multi-channel broadcaster, BSkyB.

Murdoch, who has made no secret of his dislike for the BBC and it's funding is essentially telling us that whilst we should be outraged at being asked to pay £135 a year to watch quality news, documentaries, sport, entertainment and of course, Kevin the Teenager, we should still be racing to the phone to pay even more to watch the proverbial TV wheelie bin containing "Cirque de Celebrite", "Sexcetera" and "Eurotrash".

But what Murdoch or the Sun won't be telling you is that tonight, the BBC will allow you to watch both sport and a movie for £10.96 per month. Mr Murdoch on the other hand, will charge you nearer £50 for the month for the same privilege.

Now, who was ripping off who again?

Don't Do Anything

Stay inside, lock all your doors and windows, unplug the phone and keep the kids safe in their bedrooms.











Today being told that we're all going to die again by police chief Ian Blair who claims that the terrorists are onto something. OK, so we were all going to be horribly killed back in October, but this time it's for real and we should all stay inside.

Apparently, there is no "concrete intelligence" to suggest that anything specific is going to happen anywhere specific over the festive period. But still, we're in grave danger and rather than running the risk of being confronted by a complete lunatic, we should just put our feet up in from of the Christmas TV.

Not only that, even if you weren't blown to pieces by a religious extremist, you'll probably die from the inevitable flu pandemic which threatens to wipe out the entire population.

And even if you were stupid enough to want to leave the house after all these justified and accurate warnings, you wouldn't get anywhere. The plane's aren't flying, the roads are clogged up and the trains, well, they never run anyway.

Just stay at home at don't do anything, OK?

Off the Record

Time for a quick straw poll: Whilst you've been doing your Christmas shopping this year, how many of you have been to a 'proper' record shop?

I'm not talking about the likes of Virgin, Music Zone and HMV, I mean 'proper' record shops.






Beano's, Europe's biggest second-hand record store is set to close it's doors for the last time after seeing business fall in recent years. After competing with the multi-national chains and the Internet, the Croydon store has decided to throw in the towel and sell-off it's remaining stock.

It's just a shame that independent retailers are being ousted this way. Surprisingly, Dave Lashmar doesn't blame the rise of the Internet for his businesses decline. As someone who has always maintained that shops still have an edge over their electronic counterparts, Lashmar has resisted the temptation to branch his business onto the world wide web.
The web however could well be the death-nell for numerous independent music dealers. If we're not importing chart CD's from the VAT-free haven of Jersey or raiding eBay auctions, we're downloading music from legal, illegal and "miscellaneous" channels.

At worst, we're going into supermarkets and HMV and handing our hard-earned to anonymous shareholders who staff their stores with minimum wage workers, many (but not all) of whom will know little of the subject matter and who wouldn't be able to provide you with gig tickets for the next event at the Cockpit or Students Union.

In Leeds, we're lucky that we've still got two 'real' record stores. We've got Crash Records on Eastgate which is held in high regard in the music scene and we've got the lesser known Jumbo Records who still seem to be doing a strong trade despite having to compete with the nearby high-street chains of HMV, Virgin and Music Zone.

Hopefully these stores will still remain for years to come. The owner of Beano's is more critical of the decline of the local area, as evidenced from the number of people who 'used' to shop in Croydon. The same can't be said of Leeds.

Here in Yorkshire we have the biggest financial district away from the capital, much of that being based on the fact we have a successful city centre and retail district, one that attracts tourists from across the North.

Whilst most of us have shifted our spending patterns to supermarkets and computers, it's still a shame to see true retailers vanish in this way.

The Hazy World of Pro Football

Not that it's anything new in professional football, but the referee for last night's Carling Cup quarter final between Liverpool and Arsenal couldn't see a thing.




That's not because he was useless, it's because the Anfield pitch had become shrouded in the Mersey fog, much to the dissatisfaction of Rafa Benitez and Arsene Wenger, who for the first time claimed he could actually see something on a football pitch.

As the crowds walked home, the TV crews packed their cameras and the Arsenal team headed back to the airport, the arguments raged into the night about fixture congestion. Liverpool and Arsenal must now reconvene their Carling Cup semi-final engagements and meet again in the FA Cup in addition to fulfilling their league requirements. In short, the two sides are looking at 7 games in 22 days. Not surprisingly, messieurs Benitez and Wenger are far from amused.

They could have it worse though. Don't let the '7 games' thing fool you. Last night was not intended to be anything other that a reserve team kick-about in a third-rate competition. Neither side is a supporter of the Carling Cup contest (until it suits them) and neither side had any intention of fielding a first eleven last night, nor will they for the rearranged fixture in January.
So that realistically means six games in 22 days or in simpler terms, 2 games a week with a day to spare.

Yet despite this, the avid supporters of our national game deem this excessive but lets look at what supporters, players and coaches of other sports have to endure.

The Edmonton Oilers of the NHL Ice Hockey league will have taken the ice no fewer than 14 times between December 2nd and 31st. The LA Lakers are even more hard done by, appearing in 16 games in the same period, four of which take place with less than a 24 hour turnaround. And lets not forget that in the States, travelling to away fixtures is about equivalent of European footballers jetting across the continent rather than making a simple bus journey across the city or at worst, a 45 minute flight from London to the North West.

But still, lets show some sympathy for our elite band of millionaires who might have to put in a little extra graft this Christmas

Savage Garden ought to be Rich by Now

Having just got back from the local gym where I had the misfortune of enduring MTV Dance blaring across the room, I couldn't help but notice how dance music is, quite frankly, terrible.

Not only that, but it's not actually 'dance' music. Any half-wit can make a dance track with just a current song, some simple equipment, a Page 3 model and a 15-year old chav.
Granted, these arguments are hardly new. Dance music has always been pretty pants and cover versions are always bad. The only cover version I'd say was better that the original was Natalie Imbruglia's 1997 rendition of Trena Rayne's "Torn". Apart from that, they're all pretty dreadful.

But anyway, here's the perfect recepie for a night-club No1. All you have to do is take a good song that was really popular but hasn't been played in a while. Savage Garden's 'Truly, Madly, Deeply" would be ideal:



Then, take your 15-year old chav (two if you can find enough of them) and give him an electronic drum kit and a sampler and just tell them that they can push any buttons they want.
Come back ten minutes later with a video camera and a Page 3 model. Take the tape that the 15-year old chavs have recorded and then film the aforementioned woman dancing to said tape.

The result should be something like this:



Think of a 'club name' to make you sound brilliant, give said tape to MTV and hey-presto, you'll be rich!

I only hope Savage Garden made Cascada and Co pay through the nose for a copyright licence.

Fish Shop Etiquette

When visiting the local Fish & Chip shop, it is important to remember the proper standards of behaviour that befit such establishments.





When entering the said building it is only proper to wait in line, get to the counter, order fish and chips (but always refer to them as 'once', 'twice' or 'three times' etc depending on how many lots you want) and then leave.
If you are the awkward sort, you may order 'special' items such as chicken nuggets but only on the pretence that you shout your order over the counter to the fishmonger who will have them ready by the time you get to the front.

You do not, under any circumstances whatsoever do the following:
Enter the shop and wait in line until you reach the counter. Once you get to the counter, read off a list of various special items, including chicken, pineapple fritters and the like. Proceed to complain that said items will take 5-10 minutes to prepare and then cause a queue to reach half-way down the A657.

In fact, it's time fish and chip shops were banned from selling anything other than fish, chips and Dandelion and Burdock.

Making Your Mind Up

The world is falling apart, the oceans are getting deeper and we're going to have to learn how to swim by 2014 if we don't do something now.




At the risk of sounding like Jeremy Clarkson, I'm not entirely convinced by this 'go green' campaigning that's been doing the rounds.

My scepticism isn't exactly diluted by our elected band of leaders either who don't seem to be in unanimous agreement over which direction we should be heading in.

Take Gordon Brown's "green taxes" from a few weeks ago. According to him we should all leave our cars at home and stop taking advantage of the 5p flights offered by Ryanair, easyjet and Jet2. Doing such a thing is bad for the environment and for being so evil, we should all be made to pay for our transgresses. Apparently, £10 extra in airport tax is all that it will take for us to repent our sins and avoid an eternity of damnation.

Now all that would be fine if our glorious leaders didn't keep contradicting themselves.
I could happily accept that by driving to work I'm killing the West Vietnamese gumbo tree and that for doing so I should treated with contempt, if I didn't then see the 'Two Jags' Deputy Prime Minister jumping in a limousine to travel less than 250 yards to give a speech on using public transport.

So today's news that the government are pressing ahead with their airport expansion plans which include new runways at Heathrow and Stansted (a major base for low-cost airline Ryanair) doesn't really convince me to join Greenpeace and race to the Toyota Prius dealership.
On one hand Gordon Brown is telling us not to fly because that's naughty but on the other hand, Transport Secretary Douglas Alexander is increasing the supply of air travel and therefore encouraging an increase in demand.

It can't just be me who's confused by the plans to introduce green airport taxes and expand airports to fuel an extra demand in air travel, but I'm sure that there is a perfectly logical explanation.

Poor Wayne

Wayne Rooney is in the news again and he's not a happy bunny.










The Manchester United and England forward is spouting his mouth off because the Premiership's referee's won't look after him and protect him from all the big bad opponents and that it is affecting his game.

"For some reason refs think I should be able to protect myself without their help," says the 21-year old. Well yes Wayne, you should. You're a big boy now and you've got to learn to look after yourself.

What he fails to understand is that he actually brings it on himself. He's a good player no question but he's also easier to wind up than a jack-in-a-box. Opponents the world over know that a little rough-housing here and there will put him off his game and make him lash out. Make him do that and you've beat him.

Quit whinging Wayne and get on with it.

Christmas on the Buses

Today sees all of Leeds' buses stay firmly locked away in the garage as drivers at First Leeds take industrial action over pension reforms.

In most cities, when one company goes on strike there would still be some form of bus service, albeit a skeleton one, as other operators pick up the pieces. Not in Leeds though.

In the 1980’s, bus travel in the UK changed. Rather than having a centrally funded public transport system that covered every nook and cranny of the City, local transport authorities in every UK city barring London were then ordered to sell off the contracts of all routes to the highest bidder. Cities like Sheffield and Manchester got lucky; contracts were split between multiple operators in addition to the cities Supertram scheme but in Leeds, First got away with the loot. Only Arriva operate any real competition but only through routes than run through East Leeds en-route to Wakefield.

London was never sold. Public transport in the capital was like the family silver that you do not sell, no matter how garish it is. Today in the ‘big smoke’ you have a fully integrated rail, bus and underground system. You can buy a rail ticket and if the train doesn’t show, you can use that ticket on the bus which is never more than 6 minutes away, regardless of who operated it.

Compare to Leeds. You buy a train ticket and when the train doesn’t show, you’re stuck there until it does. You could try and catch a bus. But that usually doesn’t show either and even if it does, you can’t use your £3 train ticket, you have to buy a £3 bus ticket instead.

Keeping London public also gave the transport boffins in Westminster something to point to when we all claimed public transport went wrong. As far as governments are concerned, if public transport worked in the capital (and it does – brilliantly), then public transport everywhere else must work (and it doesn’t) Privatisation on the bus industry was designed to give us, the travelling public the choice as to who to buy our services from and the idea was that this increased competition would improve services for us all.
And in Leeds we do have a choice, just what Thatcher wanted us to have. We can use First Leeds, or we can walk. So when First drivers don't go to work, we don't go to work.

So today the local radio stations have sent an army of reporters to find bemused commuters stood at bus-stops and have had various vox-pops from the streets of Leeds of people saying how much of a disgrace it is and pointing the finger one way or the other.
Radio Aire are firmly attacking the drivers, but seeing as they have various advertising agreements with First, they were hardly going to blame the operators. BBC Radio Leeds has been a bit more balanced, but it has to be because we pay it to be.

So who is to blame?

The dispute is over a final salary pension scheme. First want rid of it; the drivers want to keep it. First Leeds’ directors, who will no doubt continue to enjoy a final salary pension, insist that because we are all nasty and mean enough to start living longer, then it’s employee’s should start paying for that privilege. The drivers disagree and today they stand outside the various garages waving placards and will do so as well on Saturday 23^rd December and Christmas Eve.

First’s propaganda in the media has venomously attacked it’s employees in a deliberate attempt to turn public anger away from it’s own inabilities and onto the drivers.
It’s persistent mention of an “pay offer above the rate of inflation” is laughable irony. This is a company that makes a huge fanfare about how generous it is when it suits them, but keeps themselves eerily quiet when they also impose “above the rate of inflation” fare increases to supplement 2005’s £115.2m profits.

Reader’s here will know that First are hardly my favourite company in the world and at the risk of sounding subjective, they’re going to get the blame from me. Strike action is almost always the last resort of employee’s, especially at this time of year. Whilst trade unions are no angels, First have evidently dug their heels in too far. For a firm that is often bemoaning the recruitment problems it faces (even after the increase in Eastern European workers), they are hardly endearing themselves to potential employees.
First’s slogan “transforming travel” rings true. They have systematically dismantled and meaningful services and replaced them with packed vehicles running profitable routes as it suits them. The result? We have today’s situation where one operator’s inabilities bring the whole city to a standstill.

Happy travelling people.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Happy Birthday to me indeed. Thank-you for caring.










This day in 1985 some child who would go on to bore you all with inane ramblings on an Internet blog named 'A View from the Bar' was born.

Here's some other interesting things that have happened today:

Of course, John Lennon was shot dead in New York in 1980, it's Constitution Day in Romania and Sammy Davis Junior was born in 1925. The US declared war of Japan in 1941 and in 1976, the Eagles released Hotel California.

And seeing as it's my Birthday, I have no will have objection if you decided to buy me presents.

Bargain PC World

According to the website of computer retailer PC World, the company is now up for sale.






Potential buyers can purchase the retail giant, which makes a sizable contribution to it's parent company's £7bn annual turnover, for the bargain price of £30!

Buyers are also advised that an extended warranty is available at £6.95 per month whilst home installation is another £34.99.

It's Art I Tell You

It's not like looking at a painting in Leeds Art Gallery or admiring some abstract steel structure in the local park. We are talking of course about....err.......lapdancing.




Well, that's what the Norwegians think of it anyway.

After an appeal, the owner of Diamond Go Go Bar in Oslo have won a case to make lapdancing clubs across Norway exempt from the 25% VAT rate on the grounds that strip-tease is an art form.

Good on-em I say. When you live in the most expensive city in the World, you've got to have a little fun now and again!

The War on Christmas

This morning that bastion of truth, honesty, straight thinking and well produced journalism, the Sun, set out on a crusade against what it claims is the 'War on Christmas'.






Every year we get stories in low-rent rags such as the Sun and Daily Mail about how anything remotely festive is banned because "it offends religious minorities." Heck, there's even a book about it.
Today's Sun has even printed a list of cases, even printing words in BOLD CAPITALS to make sure that I understand them and are equally outraged.
The argument falls down though when they list what has/hasn't been banned. Here's a snippet:

A COURT banned a millionaire from putting up his annual charity light display.

So, banned because of religious minorities, or "banned" because (presumably), he didn't get the planning permission that is required to erect commercial illuminated displays?

A SANTA was prevented from touring a town because his sleigh does not have a seatbelt.

In other words, A SANTA was prevented from using public roads in an un-roadworthy vehicle. Presumably the Sun would be happy for a drunken 16-year old to drive an un-taxed, un-MOT'd F-Reg Fiesta laden with presents through a village square on the proviso that he wore A SANTA costume.

There's more where that came from and I dare say that we've not heard the last of the Sun's campaign to allow people to break the law just because it's Christmas.


And the outrage hasn't stopped there. The right-wing press are creaming themselves over Channel 4's decision to allow a fully veiled Muslim to deliver their Christmas speech.

For you non-Brits, a bit of background knowledge is probably needed:
Every Christmas day, families used to gather around the TV as the Queen delivered her Christmas speech to the nation. It had to be done, usually because your Gran was a devout supporter of the monarchy. Today however it's different and support and interest in the Royal family has continued to wain. Buckingham Palace lost a lot of public support over their actions following Diana's death and a catalogue of gaffs have never seen them recover their image to what it once was.
Channel 4 spotted that and each year at the same time Her Majesty went on air, they broadcast their "alternate speech". Previous years have seen the Beckhams, the Simpsons, Ali G, Sharon Osbourne and Ali G address the British public and this year will see a woman known only as "Khadija" step in front of the camera.

Of course, we are all supposed to be outraged by this. I mean, how dare a national television network broadcast images of a veiled Muslim into the homes across of a multi-cultural and so-called 'racial tolerant' nation such as Britain and how dare they give a non-Christian an opportunity to give their views on the most 'Christian' day of the year (despite the fact that Christianity stole Christmas from the Pagans). Interestingly, nobody seemed to care when Sasha Baron-Cohen (as Ali G) appeared on our screens a few December 25th's back, despite the fact that he is Jewish.

So today people, as you go about your daily business, remember to be outraged.

Vacancy: Football Manager, Location: Anywhere in Yorkshire

Yorkshire's job centres have been pretty busy so far this football season, with all four of the county's Championship managers being handed their P45's.




Firstly, Leeds United manager parted company with Kevin Blackwell. After guiding them to a Championship play-off final last season, the former Sheffield United assistant left Leeds staring relegation to League One in the face and Chairman Ken Bates wasted no time in giving Blackwell the boot and bringing in his old mate Dennis Wise.

Exactly one month later, Sheffield Wednesday boss Paul Sturrock was kicked out of Hillsborough after leaving the club in 21st position and another month went by before Barnsley manager Andy Ritchie joined South Yorkshire's dole queue.

Today, Hull City's Phil Parkinson has completed the quartet after just six months and four wins from 21 games in charge at the KC Stadium.

The league tables don't make enjoyable reading either if you happen to be a Yorkshire sports fan. Of the three relegation spaces, two are occupied by Leeds United and Hull City, Barnsley lie just two points above the drop zone. Sheffield Wednesday can look down on the rest of the region with their comparatively lofty fourteenth league place.

Away from the Coca Cola Championship, things aren't exactly rosy either. Sheffield United are holding their own in the Premiership but in League One, Doncaster Bradford and Huddersfield are struggling, whilst Rotherham are looking nervously at the relegation trap door behind them. In fact, only 2nd place Scunthorpe have anything to crow about.

Quite clearly, we're not that good at this football lark. Perhaps we'd be better off sticking to Rugby instead.

Don't Have Fun This Christmas or You'll Make us Mad

As millions of Britons hit the high street this December in the run-up to Christmas, Her Majesty's Customs Officers can't help but step in and spoil the party.



Whilst most of us will head to the local City Centre or clog up the Ring Roads queuing for the car park to gargantuan out-of-town shopping centres, thousands of others will leave Blightly alltogether and head to the States.

Not only will they take advantage to the favourable tax rates (as low as 5% in New York against 17.5% in the UK), but they are now encouraged by the fact that a £1 coin will get you almost $2 ($1.98 to be precise). That gives us Brits massive spending power on the other side of the Atlantic.

But the Customs officers aren't happy. Not content impounding cars from cross-channel ferry "booze-cruises" and in some cases, selling the vehicle without the owners knowledge to pay for an alcohol and tobacco duty bill that has already been legally paid within the European Union, they now take great enjoyment in pointing out that we aren't allowed to stock our suitcases with cut-price iPods, laptops and designer jeans from across the pond.

The legalities of it are that any item with a value in excess of £145 (although there is no definition whether that 'value' is retail or trade value) is subject to tax when you land at the UK airport.
There are obviously ways around this. For instance, a laptop computer, camcorder or iPod can easily be disguised as something you took with you in the first place, provided that the customs officer doesn't stumble across the packaging in another suitcase but it's hardly practical to go opening Christmas presents you bought for your granddaughter or teenage son.

Most of us would hope that common sense would prevail and that customs officers at Heathrow will realise that a 58-year old woman with an iPod and pair of Levi's for her grandson isn't a major threat to the economic stability of the nation but then again, perhaps we have too much faith in them.

Happy Christmas from Orange

Santa has come early this year at casa del Michael, courtesy of a very thoughtful people at Orange.




Usually, the opening of the mobile phone bill is yet another reminder of how much of my earnings are already spoken for before my pay-packet even shows up. But today was different.

Instead of expecting a £30 direct debit to jump out of my account any time soon, I'm now the happy recipient of a £267 credit!

At first confusion sets in so I read and re-read the said bill but I still come to the same conclusion - I'm £267 up for absolutely no apparent reason. A credit is stated next to a "Replacement Phone", a handset that was replaced under warranty but how that equates to a £300 credit (which becomes £267 after my other charges) I don't know and the call center operator at Orange didn't seem to know either.

After checking with Orange, they confirm I am in credit and that my next bills will cost me nothing until the credit runs out.

Happy Christmas Orange!

UPDATE:

Bastards. I should never have called them back! I did though, because the last thing that I want is a letter 3 months later asking for their £200 back.
Turns out that it was an administrative error caused by "confusion" over my replacement handset.

Still, I can take soluce and have a nice glow inside me that my honesty has saved £267 for a big, multinational telecommunications provider to whom, without my honesty, £267 might have had an adverse impact on their parent company's €49bn annual turnover.




Fuckers

Just the Job

Society is crumbling, young people are running amok and TV is decaying morality as we know it.





Apparently.

Some boffins at the Learning and Skills Council, the people that are responsible for making sure we all have qualifications and skills to get better jobs, claim that soap operas are not performing some fictitious social obligation that they have just invented.
The LSC are not happy that many of the younger characters in Britain's two most popular soaps are depicted in occupations such as market trading, pint-pulling, or knicker manufacturing.

In Eastenders, the BBC soap is based in a London market square and so, logically, some of the characters work on the local market. In ITV's Coronation Street, the largest employer is a factory called "Underworld" and so most of the residents work there.

But according to the Learning Skills Council, seeing actors "in dead-end jobs is shattering young viewers' career dreams". As a result, the LSC believe that because these "role models" are in these "dead-end jobs", the youth of today will just accept that as the norm and to combat that, they suggest what qualifications these characters should be working towards.
They just happen to ignore that in real life, the sort of jobs that might be classed as 'bad jobs', such as retail or bar work are usually done by young people, be it to pay their way through higher education (like myself) or to make a start on the career ladder.
They also ignore the fact that if a character did achieve a 'Level 2 Diploma in retail fashion' and went on to own a 'successful designer fashion boutique', they'd be living in a nice detached house in an upmarket leafy suburb, not a terraced estate in Salford.

Interestingly, this comes not that long ago since the government wanted to keep young people who don't want to be in school in school for another two years to stop them going into these so called "dead-end jobs".

Firstly, lets remember that a properly functioning society will always need people to empty the bins, stack supermarket shelves and drive buses and so it's both impractical and impossible to keep people out of such jobs.
The simple fact is that we can't all be rocket scientists or brain surgeons. A bin-man (or as they are now called, a "Refuse Technician"), isn't a bin-man because he likes looking through other people's rubbish, he's a bin-man because he doesn't know much about rocket science or brain surgery.

Secondly, lets go back to the LSC's dig at soaps and the claim that "Young people in soaps are role models, and if they remain in dead end jobs there is a danger that young people will accept this as the norm."
These soaps also happen to be the same programmes that Ofcom recently made exempt from the new legislation on junk food advertising because only 9% of the audience were under the age of sixteen and so to claim that soap stars are 'role models' to young people or that young people are affected by seeing people working in an underwear factory is entirely inaccurate.

Did I just hear the sound of a buck being passed?

Keep on Running

I like to keep in shape now and again like a lot of people. I'll try to hit the gym twice a week at least and head off on a walk most days.





I'll even do a bit of running from time to time. The only difference is that when I run, I don't bring the whole of Leeds to a standstill.

Today was the Leeds "Abbey Dash". A race where competitors pay £15 to 'Help the Aged' to run from Leeds City Centre to Kirkstall Abbey and back again, about 10km or so. So today, after leaving for work at about 9:30, I'm met with various road closures and Lycra clad runners heading in the opposite direction.

That was inconvenience number one. After I'd dropped my brother off for work at a large cinema complex at Kirkstall, I then ventured into the City Centre. As I approached the outskirts, I expected the cones, but I also expected signs advising me where I could and couldn't go. The latter, not surprisingly given Leeds City Council's record when it comes to traffic and event management, didn't materialise.

Long story short, a 10 minute cut through the Leeds Tourist Trap (sorry, Leeds Loop Road) took some 25 minutes.

Next year I suggest the event take place along the Leeds Liverpool canal towpath. Should make it more interesting as the leading runners turn around and head towards the oncoming stragglers!

The Forbidden Towels

Sometimes, I just don't understand women. Sometimes, I don't think we're supposed to, esspecially when it involves parents.









In our bathroom, we have a towel rail with three towels permanantly resting upon it. We've also got various others on radiators around the house.
So when I've finished in the bath / shower, I grab the nearest towels on this rail and do what I need to do.

Except I'm not allowed to do that. Apparently, these towels are for "display purposes" and they are not to be used under any circumstances whatsoever.
Instead, all users of these facilities are to walk to the front of the house and get towels from the bedroom, making wet footprints all across the house.
When it is pointed out that such an idea is stupid, we're all told that we don't know what we're talking about and that we should stop questioning my mother's methods.

So anyway, I'm still considering why we have a set of towels that we can't use, yet we still have them connected to a heated towel rail.

Answers on a postcard please.

Look How Far We've Come!

Technology's great isn't it? Computers, mobile phones, the Internet, digital TV, you name it. Technology has, in most cases, made life safer, faster, cleaner and generally a bit more bearable.








It's not only in electronics though. Materials is another area that has seen progress over recent years. You only have to watch an episode of Top Gear when Jeremy Clarkson tests super cars made of various composites and space-age materials that can withstand gigantic forces, despite weighing as much as a bag of peanuts. It's just an example of how human ingenuity meets engineering progress.

Today I happened to stumble upon another example of human intrigue combined with technological sophistication. Whilst engineering graduates are wasting their time developing a Skoda Fabia that can run on potpourri or a TV set that is powered by sand so it can be used in some remote African shanty town, some crazy engineers in Canada have developed something we can all use.

It's a toilet seat. Nothing spectacular about that, you've probably already got one at home, but this is no ordinary toilet seat. In fact, this particular seat is made of hand-layed carbon fibre. The advantage? It can withstand 550,000 psi of pressure.
Where a toilet seat would encounter that sort of pressure is a mystery to me, but it's nice to know that if I did decide I wanted to 'pig-out' for a few years, there is a toilet seat that will suit my needs.

Isn't progress brilliant?!

We're Sorry, No Really

The latest book from OJ Simpson, If I Did It, has caused public outrage in the US, so much so that Rupert Murdoch has decided to pull a televised interview based on it from the Fox network.




After being acquitted of the murder of his ex-wife and her friend in 1995 in a controversial and compelling trial, the book details how Simpson would have carried out the Los Angeles killings "if he were the one responsible".
The book has viewed by some as Simpson's "confession" and has drawn further criticism from the victims families.
Fox and Newscorp have also come under fire from an ethical view for proposing a televised interview with the former NFL star.

But for all the ethical issues, Fox are onto a winner here. The fact that their affiliates across the US have refused to screen the interview and then Fox's decision to pull the interview altogether has got people talking. Now the mystique around the book has intensified greatly and that is sure to equate to increased sales, good news for Simpson and the books publisher Reganbooks.

I'll give you three guesses who owns them.

Jack the Ripper Revealed

When they're not working hard frightening us all into think we're going to die and shooting Brazilian commuters in the back of the head, the Met Police are busy investigating into crimes committed 118 years ago.







Today an e-fit was released depicting what Jack the Ripper may or may not have looked like. The man who evaded police in the 1880's and is thought to have murdered at least five prostitutes in the capital has even had his 118 year old address tracked down by our 'on the ball' police force.

Apparently, Jack the Ripper "was between the ages of 25 and 35, between 5ft 5ins and 5ft 7ins tall" although the Scotland Yard spokesman also added "at the time the police were probably searching for the wrong kind of man." Some things never change.

Anyway, I've figured out why the didn't catch Jack the Ripper way back then. Just look at the e-fit:


That face looks familiar doesn't it? Now quickly, who does that remind you of........?



I mean, any police force that was looking for Freddie Mercury way back in the 1880's was surely on a hiding to nothing from the beginning weren't they?

The cartoonist who did the picture at the top wasn't far off mind.

Won't Somebody Please Think of the Children!

If only Jamie Oliver had realised just what he'd started. Today nanny has decided that we can no longer be trusted to watch chocolate and burgers on TV.





TV regulator Ofcom has decided that foods that are "high in fat, salt and sugar" will be banned from children's TV and programmes that attract "a high proportion of under-16's". The idea is to reduce childhood obesity by preventing advertisers from raising the profile of unhealthy food.

But the simple fact is, the new legislation won't make the blindest difference to childhood obesity.

Lets use the example of McDonald's, an organisation often mentioned when the issue of unhealthy eating comes up.
Five years ago, this legislation would have meant a firm like McDonald's would be banished from our screens with their Big Mac & chips offerings.
But today, it's slightly different. You see Ronald McDonald now offers such delights as 'Fruit bags', carrot sticks and fresh salads. When you consider that, it's easy to see how a firm like McDonald's is going to side-step this legislation.
Instead of showing of their Big Mac, they'll just show off how healthy they now are. They'll still get people in the Restaurant and from there on in, the customer is free to chose what he/she wants.

Lets look at chocolate as well. I would hazard a guess that few chocolate bars are sold as a direct result of TV advertising. Most advertisers realise that television is not the most effective form of advertising, in fact I'm sure I read that the 'sales rate' is less than two percent, but companies do it because it makes their brand name seem more prestigious if they are attached to a popular soap opera.
The majority of chocolate sales, above what would be expected as the norm, come from impulse buys whilst stood in the queue at the supermarket check-out or the petrol station counter.
So now, Ofcom are effectively encouraging the likes of Cadbury's to spend their multi-million pound budget in supermarkets, petrol stations and corner shops. In short, it's probably making the problem worse.

As for the TV industry, broadcasters such as Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and Disney will see their advertising revenues plummet. Some advertisers will focus their budgets elsewhere whilst others will refuse to pay full price if they can't advertise the products they want. That will invariably lead to poorer programme quality, shorter broadcasting hours and lost jobs.

All the new legislation will do is encourage advertisers to be a little bit more creative. They'll change the way they advertise or the places they advertise and as a result, the only gain will be on the 13 year-old's waistline.

The Power of Radio

Some of you who have read my other blog The One Pointer might have noticed the news that Featherstone Rovers have agreed naming rights deal for their stadium with Radio 1 DJ Chris Moyles.




Well thanks to Mr Moyles, The One Pointer has seen it's hit's jump like never before.

Already as of the 16th, November hits have almost reached double the number of hits the same site got for the whole of October - and the numbers are still ticking over.

Chris Moyles: The Saviour of Radio One and the kick-start for The One Pointer

London is Rubbish

Way back in January, I told you that London was crap at doing anything. You name it and London would find a way to muck it up. It just wouldn't be a 'London project' if it wasn't late and grossly over-budget.


So today we read that the former president of the Olympic Committee is starting to sweat on London 2012. Sixteen months has passed and Juan Antonio Samaranch has reminded Ken Livingston and Coe (geddit!) that time is running out.

Work on the site of the Olympic stadium isn't due to start until 2008, a contractor has yet to sign on the dotted line and already it looks like the accountants have got their sums wrong.

First the Aquatics Centre plans were rejected after going twice over it's £75m budget, less than five months after London was awarded the Olympic contract and then it seems that the overall costs have risen from £3.5bn to £5bn. (Apparently someone didn't factor in that they'd have to pay VAT.)

Of course, this isn't the first thing that London has managed to make a mess of. Where the Portugese could build or refurbish ten stadiums in time for the Euro 2004 Championships, London couldn't even muster one ground to host the FA Cup Final, the Rugby League Cup Final and a few rock concerts.

Then there was the Millennium Dome. 12m people were expected, 6m people came. As for funding, an additional £204m of lottery funding was needed to keep it running and as of yet, it's still nothing more than an empty tent.
And lets not forget the British Library, five years late and £341m over it's £170m budget.

Maybe it's just a southern thing? The National Air Traffic Control Centre in Hampshire, The Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, The Channel Tunnel - those three projects combined equate to 7 years of delays and £5.3bn in extra costs.

And it looks like the Olympic organisers haven't learnt from the mistakes of those before them. The smart money is certainly on the 'revised' £5bn budget being increased again before the starting gun fires.

Enjoy London 2013 folks - if you're lucky!

What's the Point?

What on earth is the point in the San Marino national football team?









No seriously, was someone at Uefa / FIFA having a laugh when they decided to put a European micro state with a population not yet big enough to fill Craven Cottage against the superpowers of world football?

Presumably the FIFA representatives went along the lines of "Well, it's in Italy, Italy are a good team, what could possibly go wrong?"
OK, so they might have scored against England after 20 seconds back in 1993, but apart from that, there is little to brag about.

Euro 2008 qualification is just three rounds old and already San Marino, ranked 194th in the world, already "boast" a current record of Played 3, Won 0, Lost 3, Goals scored 0, Goals conceded 26.

A 13-0 hiding at home to Germany, a 7-0 battering against the Czech Republic and a 5-0 hiding tonight against Ireland suggest that, if anything, they are getting better but for the San Marians it couldn't really have got much lower.

The players are on a hiding to nothing. They have no local infrastructure, a virtually non-existent talent pool and a shoestring budget. The problem lies with Uefa who insist on asking players to jump straight into the deep-end with a concrete block strapped around their waist.
Not only do the players miss out, the supporters are hit as well. Just 34,000 turned up at Lansdowne Road, hardly ready to embrace the prospect of a double-digit hiding.

And Uefa's solution to the current spate of mismatches? They've granted a Euro 2012 qualification place to the footballing might of Gibraltar.

First Direct: Playing with Fire?

This morning's news that First Direct is to "end free banking" has quite understandably, caused a bit of a stir.






The bank, which operates primarily by phone and online, is to start levying a charge of £10 per month to current account holders, unless they can deposit £1,500 per month or take out further products, such as loans or insurance.

First Direct claim that the move will eliminate some 40,000 dormant accounts as well as around 250,000 accounts that see less that ten transactions a month and at the same time, allow the bank to "focus its efforts" on their "most important customers."

And that's the crux of the issue.

Banks are businesses like any other. They are in the industry to make money, not to fulfill some social responsibility that so many people think businesses should aspire to.
With the current slump in consumer spending as well as rising operating costs, many businesses have had to make a choice; do they want 'more' customers or do they want 'better' customers. It's not merely a case of following many people's simplistic view of more customers = more profit.
Such a decision is made in various industries, particularly n retail and product offerings and prices are decided to suit.

First Direct have clearly decided that they want 'better' customers. The customers that bring in more revenue and require them, as a business to spend less. As a result, they can maintain a reputation for customer service by better looking after the customers that remain.

Some people will claim that First Direct have shot themselves in the foot with this morning's announcement and a raft of account closures might initially show that the defectors are right.
But on the flip side, they'll be keeping the customers they want whilst lowering their costs significantly.

Expect First Direct's announced profits to be as high as ever.

A Shameless Plug

As well as enjoying or enduring my thoughts and ramblings on A View from the Bar and The One Pointer, you've now got a third place to read my work you lucky devils.

As part of one of our college modules at Leeds Trinity & All Saints College, the third year Sports Journalism students have to maintain a local sports website which will from here on be known as Sported.

I think you should all read it. The site is in its infancy at the minute (it only went live on Friday) and so there are still plenty of bugs in it, but I think you should look at it none the less.

Oh and tell them you came from here, just to give me another plug ;)

Enjoy (and by the way, mine is the Farsley Celtic piece.)

It's All My Fault

Apparently.
A few months back I wrote about how the customer is rarely right and even longer ago, I wrote about how rubbish Chip & Pin was.




It's amazing how two things collide sometimes.

Today we arrive at work, 10:00am start for a 11:00am opening. At 10:20 the phone rings. Some dopey cow had left her card in the chip & pin reader yesterday and I was to be treated to the rendition of how it is everybody's fault except hers.

"I left my card in you machine yesterday, it's an absolute disgrace....this has ruined my weekend.....why don't you tell people to take their card out?.....I want some compensation.....I'm not buying things from somewhere with this attitude towards customer service......I'm not the one who's stupid.......blah blah rant rant"

I've said it before, but people's brains stop functioning when they are in a shop. They become mesmerised by the array of shiny things and they lose all train of thought.

So when a shop assistant says to them "Please put your card in the reader and follow the onscreen instructions." and then later says "please remove your card" at the same time an onscreen message says "REMOVE CARD" in block capitals with an audible alarm, what would any sane, normal, intelligent person do?

That's right, you'd leave your card in the reader and then phone up the next day to complain that it's the shop assistant's fault that your weekend was ruined.

Thankfully I leave Uni in June. Then it's the end for me in the world of retail and off on another adventure to encounter a different breed of ignoramus.

Rubbish Inventions of the Modern World: Gillette Fusion

Allegedly, the "best a man can get" has just been made better.









The new "Gillette Fusion" offers "the best shave yet" because of it's "five-blade Shaving Surface technology" and, if you believe the marketing slogans, will completely revolutionise the way we shave.

Rubbish.

Why the hell does a razor need five blades, as well as a sixth on the top for those "hard to reach" areas? Further still, why does a razor need five blades, a sixth on the top for those "hard to reach" areas and a battery to make the thing shake like a shitting dog?

Like most blokes, I fail to see what six blades do that three blades can't, except making you twice as likely to cut yourself.

I'd love to see the Gillette MD when that idea was pitched to him. Perhaps he thought he'd be better off slitting his wrists with the extra three blades?

Rubbish Inventions of the Modern World: Deal or No Deal

Not so much an invention, more of a creation but rubbish none-the-less.







The current "daytime TV show of the year" in Britain happens to be the above titled programme, the very same game show that has relaunched the career of Noel Edmonds.

After Noel's House Party was axed by the BBC in 1999, Edmonds had found himself attending the local job club until last year.

After applying for the presenting role on Countdown, he was then snapped up by Channel Four to present a new game show called "Deal or No Deal."

The show involves 22 contestants, one of which is picked to play the game. Each contestant has a box with a cash value inside ranging from 1p to £250,000. The player then selects boxes at random to reveal a cash amount. That amount is then taken away. At various intervals, a "banker" makes an offer based on what cash values are left. The player then decides if they want to accept this offer or play on to earn a greater offer.

The problem is, it is perhaps the only TV gameshow I can remember where contestants have the opportunity of winning a live-changing sum on money through no skill whatsoever.

It's like Russian roulette except instead of a gun, you've got piles of cash. Any idiot can reel off random numbers and win big. This is made better by the fact that the contestants are usually whacko's and nut-jobs who believe that they have psychic abilities or that the £250,000 "has to be" in the box which happens to be their guinea pig's birthday or something equally stupid.

Why then, is the programme so successful? Well, it makes good TV. It creates suspense and is a typical example of 'car crash TV,' where a member of the public has their weaknesses exposed live on National television and if you want to look at it from a psychological perspective, it is a perfect demonstration of human greed.

Oh, and it's a daytime TV programme and so more than likely, the lack of any form of skill or intelligence involved in the game is perhaps an indication that Channel Four know their audience well.

Why am I saying this in my Christmas advice section? Well, C4 are cashing in big-time. It's that time of year when you get the various board game, DVD game, PC game, Playstation / Xbox game, handheld game, pen and paper game and so on.

Please, stop fuelling this endless production line of lazy TV.

Rubbish Inventions of the Modern World: Playstation Portable

The chances are, if you are buying Christmas presents for a 10 year old boy, a Sony PSP will be high on the list.




But before you head into Currys and give the 17-year-old counter assistant £150+ of your hard-earned, read on.

As a portable games console, the PSP does a job and certainly rivals the competition but it's not just a games console, meaning that the PSP files perfecty well under 'P' for 'Pointless'. Don't believe me? Here's a run-down of the so-called 'features' that the PSP has to offer:
MP3 Player:
OK, but why carry around a big clunky games console when you have a mobile phone, iPod or other mp3 player that will do exactly the same?
WiFi:
Why? How many 10-year olds know how to set up a wireless network? More to the point, why would a 10-year old want to download mp3's through a wireless network onto a MS Pro Duo card? Your average 10-year old just wants to play Grand Theft Auto, regardless of the fact he's not 18 yet.
Movie Player:
Why again? Firstly, UMD discs are like hen's teeth to find and they are a darn'd sight more expensive than your standard DVD's.
Even why you can find one you can afford, the chances are that the battery will cut out half-way through the film.
A wrist strap:
The day you start listing a 'wrist strap' as a feature is the day you know you've made a product that can't live up to the hype.

There you have it, yet more consumer advice for the unaware Christmas shopper.

By The Way......

I don't know why my blog keeps going offline, it just does, OK?

This is what happens when you use beta programmes!

I Told You Trains Were Rubbish

But did you listen? Well, probably. In fact, you probably knew anyway.







Still, lets all laugh at Virgin Trains, who have now resorted to asking passengers to repair their faulty fleet.

One thing that I would question though is this:

Mr Gaskin told train staff he had some plastic cable ties and a tube of superglue in his briefcase.

Another passenger, who was a former Network Rail engineer, climbed on to the front of the engine and tried to fix the loose windscreen wiper blades but was unsuccessful.

Who on earth carries a bag of cable ties on a train journey?

Clearly not Mr Branson

"Do You Know What Time it is?"

Thanks to some Scottish farmers or something, last night at 2:00am we had to put all our clocks back by one hour.




This would be fine if every member of the public had the brain capacity to be able to comprehend such a simple concept, but they don't.

As a result, this Sunday of the year is absolutely the worst day to be working in a 'public service' industry.

Sunday trading laws dictate that shops over a certain size in the UK can only trade for six consecutive hours and cannot trade past 5:30pm. This has lead to an accepted standard trading times of 11-5 (which we use), or 10-4 for supermarkets.

So today we were inundated at 10:01am with people banging on the front door, demanding to know why our doors weren't open and why we weren't catering for all their moronic needs, refusing to acknowledge that it was purely them that couldn't tell the time:

Customer: "What time do you open?"
Shop worker: "11:00am"
Customer: "It's f**king 10-past, why aren't you f**king open?!"
Shopy: "It's 10 past 10"
Foul-mouthed Idiot: "No it f**king isn't, it 11:10!"
Shopy: "No it isn't, look (holds up watch)"
Foul-mouthed Idiot: "That f**king watch is wrong, look! (holds up watch)"
Shopy: "You haven't put your watch back"
Foul-mouthed Idiot: "Yer what?"
Shopy: "The clocks went back last night"
Foul-mouthed Idiot: "This is f**king stupid! Don't you talk to me like I'm a f**king idiot!"

And similar conversations ensued throughout the morning on top of various phone-calls from people asking how to change the clock back on their computer / mobile phone / sky box etc.

Oh, and not only were people struggling with traditions that are centuries old, they were also struggling with basic instructions on a answer phone.
If you were sad enough to call a shop at 8:00am on a Sunday morning and got this answer phone message:

Hello, thank-you for calling *********. The store is currently closed. Our opening hours are: Monday to Friday: 9-8. Saturday 9-6 and Sunday 11-5.

What time would you try and get to the store by? You wouldn't get there at 9:00am would you, unless you were a complete cretin? You certainly wouldn't argue that the above message is misleading any any way shape or form would you?

Unfortunately, some would.

Rubbish Inventions of the Modern World: Sat Nav

In the second part of this series designed to make sure you don't buy the wrong thing this Christmas, we take a look at a device that has seen a huge boom in the past two years: Satellite Navigation.



Sat Nav systems have really taken off, fuelled entirely by huge price reductions. Three years ago, I was happily selling GPS systems at upwards of £800 and more often than not, topping a grand. Today, you could get a better spec system from Aldi for about £90.

Anyone who works on the road will have one of these things stuck to their windscreens, haulers, couriers, mini-cab drivers, reps, the emergency services, even ice-cream men have been seen tapping away at the touch screen menus. Heck, even I've got one.

But why?

We believe that they get us from A-B with minimal fuss, but do they? Well no, no and no it would appear. All they seem to do is attract the local underclass to your vehicle.

The pro argument is that they guide you around unfamiliar areas and in fairness, when they arEn't taking you up some back-alley in Wales, they can do that. However, try using them in a City Centre and they aren't much cop at all. Half the problem of city driving is negotiating the multitude of one-way systems and performing countless lane changes. Not once will a Sat Nav even give you an incling of which lane to take, that's if you've still got a reception in the first place.
There's also those people who use them purely in their home town, not realising that it's more than likely costing them money in fuel as it finds yet another cack-handed way to get you to the local supermarket. They are certainly no substitute for local knowledge.

So for those of you browsing Currys this December for that perfect gift, turn away from Satellite Navigation.

Rubbish Inventions of the Modern World: Digital Picture Frames

Believe it or not, Christmas is not a million miles away. Now is the time that retailers and manufacturers everywhere start to churn out the inevitable stream of crap to get you to part with your hard earned.



Over the next few weeks, a View from the Bar guides you through the pitfalls of Christmas shopping. Today: Digital Picture Frames.

Photographers and photo-developers are constantly bemoaning the death of the photograph. In the past, you'd take your holiday snaps, sent them off the be developed and then a week later, you'd all gather around like a family going "awwwwww" and "oooooh" as your mum flicked through the photos. (As a kid, you were never allowed to touch them). Then they'd be filed away in a photo album for another day - even the rubbish ones where your finger strayed across the lens or where you took photos of the TV just to use the film up.

Today, we don't bother with that. These days it's all instantaneous. We take the photos, immediately delete the ones we don't want and then download them onto our hard-drive the minute we land. And we just leave them there. Half the time we don't even look at the, they just sit on the hard-drive never to be seen again. We ignore the fact that we spend £200-£300 on a digital camera that gives us worse picture quality that our old 35mm camera, we just like the sound of the word "megapixels".

So along came a series of ideas designed to kick-start the home photography scene. First you had photo printers, but people still couldn't be bothered printing photos after they bought a new printer and so the next big idea was digital photo development booths. Think of it like a cash machine except instead of putting in your debit card, (then you put in your debit card to pay) you put in a memory card and instead of cash, you get photographs instead. They are still knocking about here and there.

But then some boffin decided that instead of merely printing our photos, we needed somewhere to display them and so the 'digital photo frame' was born - and it was rubbish.

The idea is to display your digital photos in the same way you'd display your old-style photos. The problem is though, it's entirely dependent on screen quality, which isn't very good.
Manufacturers of these things, like any modern consumer electronics, look to keep the costs of the product as low as possible, ignoring any detrimental effects in quality. That means when some no-mark distributor of poor quality LCD screens comes up with a good offer, it's just too tempting.
Not just that though, the big £2000 three screen jobbie you see on the above link? One of the screens didn't work and the remote was comical. You physically had to go up to the device and form a tunnel with your hand between the remote and the screen you wanted to change so that the remote didn't affect the wrong screen!

In the end, the reviewer for Channel 5's "The Gadget Show" ended up making his own picture frame - with a 15in TFT monitor and some MDF from Homebase.

So in short, avoid digital photo frames. The first of a series of 'What not to buy this Christmas' advice.