Monday, February 18, 2008

Dealing with Idiots

Bloomin' heck! It's been a while hasn't it? I'm obviously getting lazy at this blogging lark.

Well actually, that's not quite true. I've been too busy dealing with complete muppets, most of whom tend to be working in some sort of "public service" capacity.

The most recent of which are the DVLA.

Given that I haven't been on here for a while, I best explain that my dealings with the DVLA are bourne from the purchase of a new vehicle. Despite the doom and gloom predictions of the "credit crunch", I was still easily able to find a well-known bank stupid enough to lend me a big bag of money in order to purchase said "wheels", a 1.6t Astra Sport Hatch SRI - and very nice it is too:


Now as anyone familiar with the car buying process will be aware, the dealers are more than happy for you to drive around whilst the DVLA, the body responsible for registering ever car and driver in the UK, are completely oblivious to the fact. Instead, they eventually get round to posting the logbook to some industrial park in Swansea where it spends the next three months in somebody's "pending" tray.

Apparently, some disgruntled motorist tried sending a letter bomb to the DVLA although quite how they found out I've no idea. By the time any envelope managed to work its way through their "high speed processing system", any traces of dynamite, TNT or anthrax would have long-since died off. They probably even set the same envelope back to the bomber, given that he probably used the wrong colour pen or something.

Eventually, you get a copy of the logbook, indicating that the DVLA recognise you as the new owner and that any speeding / parking tickets will have your name on them, even, as in my case, your name is misspelled.

OK, so the misspelling may have been the dealers fault and to be quite honest, they are currently on my feckwit list given that they lost the spare key, but that's not the point.

Having sent the logbook back to be corrected, it arrived this morning - again misspelled - with the same misspelling.

Quite why the processing minion at the DVLA thought that sent the document back in the first place I've no idea, they didn't explain but that's probably because they are completely useless.

I thought I escaped all of this shit when I packed in customer service.....

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Michael,

To introduce myself, my name is Lynne Joseph and as part of my responsibilities on the Brand Management team is to protect the use of the logo.

You may not be aware but DVLA have registered the green triangle logo as a trademark, and do not permit unauthorised use.

Please could you take steps to remove the logo from your blog as soon as possible.

However, if you wish to link to DVLA's information, please replace the logo with www.dvla.gov.uk

Thank you for your co-operation in this matter,

best regards



Lynne Joseph
Brand Management Team
Central Marketing and Market Research
C1 West
DVLA
Telephone 01792 788179
Fax 01792 7828394
e mail address lynne.joseph@dvla.gsi.gov.uk

Anonymous said...

Thats hilarious, I was going to comment something but I've forgotten what it was after reading your first comment...

just...

hilarious :)

Anonymous said...

Aint that just typical instead of coming up with some sort resolve or even some form of poor excuse for why there system is "diabolical", they get some big wig to threaten you over a poxy logo!!!!

M said...

I have to say "Lynne Joseph" gave me a good laugh, a brand manager who isn't remotely concerned with the brand actually being trashed just so long as nobody infringes copyright! Maybe DVLA brand managers just accept that they're shite, so don't even bother trying to pretent otherwise :)

Anonymous said...

Generally a 'bollocking'does not contain the word please. Unless it's sar car stick. x