The Secret Diary of Lewis Hamilton, aged 22 & three-quarters

When I was little, I used to drive go-karts but then a man called Ron came up to me and asked me if I could drive his car for him.








At first, he would only let me drive little cars, but then one day, he let me drive a really fast Mercedes car. I really enjoyed racing the big car, even if I had to work with a really nasty Spaniard who didn't like me very much and I even won a few races.

In the end, I finished second because the car broke down and then I went to live in Switzerland so that the nasty tax man can't take any of my money.

Now of course, all of that probably isn't an extract from the Lewis Hamilton: My Story - available from all good book stores and some rubbish ones as well.

Neither is it a slant at a young, British driver who has got people talking once again about a sport that had a dwindling following before he arrived on the scene.

But the point, as you might have gathered, is more a question as to how someone of 22 years of age, with just one full-season of top-class sport behind him, can possibly write a full, worthwhile autobiography?

Unfortunately, he's not alone when it comes to pointless autobiographies and with 2006 being a World Cup year, last Christmas was full of them.

Frank Lampard, Wayne Rooney, Ashley Cole, Rio Ferdinand, Steven Gerrard and Joe Cole - all players who achieved the net sum of "zero" during the 2006 tournament in Germany despite a hefty match fee were all lured by another big cheque to cram pad out their entire life story into a few hundred pages. Then Manchester City loud-mouth Joey Barton summed up my feelings perfectly:

“England did nothing in the World Cup so why were they bringing books out?” Barton asked. “ ‘We got beat in the quarter-finals. I played like s***. Here’s my book’.”

Sports autobiographies can be excellent. Lance Armstrong's series of books but, most notably, 'It's not about the Bike' is superb. Tawera Nikau, a former Castleford, Warrington and New Zealand international rugby league player who had to content with the tragic death of his wife and the loss of his right leg, wrote the eye-opening 'Standing Tall' and the likes of Tony Adams, Paul McGrath and Paul Gascoigne have all put together good books which, unfortunately, get lost in a sea of shite on the shelves of Waterstones.

Another quick search on Amazon brings up such delights as 'Russell Brand: My Booky Wooky', 'Jodie Marsh: Keeping it Real', 'Being Jordan' and 'My Autobiography' by Big Brother ignorant Jade Goody.

Honestly? Who buys this garbage?

The Haka

It's one of the iconic sights in international sport, calling on a nations aboriginal heritage and declaring war on the opposition, albeit in a sporting context.



It's most notably performed by the New Zealand rugby sides and on Saturday, New Zealand's rugby league side kick-off a three-match test series against Great Britain in Hudderfield.

I'll confess that I haven't actually seen the "Kiwi's" peform the Haka in person. I've seen the Fijian's perform their versionm 'The Cibi', at the 2000 World Cup and I've seen a spectacular rendition of both the Samoan and Tongan Hakas, performed simultaneously, towards each other, only last year in a World Cup qualifier in Leeds.

But's I've not yet seen the New Zealand version, instead, having to make do with the television:



A lot of opponents have foolishly tried to challenge the Haka, in both codes, non more so than Australian forward Willie Mason, who's probably still suffering the after affects from the 2006 Tri-Nations. It's not big, it's not clever, and more often that not, you end up paying for it.

Tomorrow, I'll be attending the first Gillette Fusion test at the Galpharm Stadium, hoping for a British win of course.

What can Sheffield Wednesday teach us?

[obligatory joke answer] How not to play football! [/obligatory joke answer]








Sheffield Wednesday, a Championship football club in South Yorkshire are probably making a lot of bloggers and forum users think at the minute.

Sheffield Wednesday currently lie 22nd in the Coca-Cola Championship and, as I type this, are trailing 2-1 at home to newly promoted Scunthorpe United. They are reportedly in financial trouble and their supporters, understandably, are frustrated with goings on at the club.

It's the sort of scenario that most sports supporters will probably be familiar with.

In the past, these sorts of issues would be discussed over a pint in the local pub, around the water cooler in the office or in the factory canteen. You could shout, swear and put the world to rights as much as you wanted with no fear of the consequences.

Today, we've got a new medium - the world wide web.

If you can think of a special interest, no matter how mainstream, how commercial or how bizarre, there's probably a website, blog and forum on it and in this case, you don't have to look hard to find a football forum.

That's where Sheffield Wednesday come into it.

After being unimpressed with the running of the club this summer, a number of supporters, like fans of any club would, vented their frustration on the fans forum Owlstalk.

The board at Hillsborough however, didn't take too kindly to the comments and filed a defamation lawsuit against 34 of its own supporters. That number has since reduced to the point where the High Court has ordered the owner of the site to hand over details of three users of the site.

It made me question my own position, both as a blogger and as an internet forum user.
I've looked at some of the posts that have been mentioned in the court documents and, to be honest, you soon realise how careful you could have to be.

I won't post examples in here, but you can read them for yourself here.

Upon reading those comments, it's nothing that I haven't already read on plenty of internet message boards in the past. I've also posted my fair share of uncomplimentary things on here about certain firms / people in the past with minimal thought and I'm sure most other blog posters have as well.

Whilst it's no excuse for a publication (and a web forum or blog is a publication) to defame individuals, I'd like to think that most football clubs would be "PR savvy" enough to realise that taking legal action against users of a fan site is something of an "own goal". It also opens up the whole "freedom of speech" argument. We aren't going to see a "Google.cn" style of censorship, but are we going to be in a position where people are wary of sharing opinions and ideas?

Whatever happens in this case over the coming months, the stance taken by a lot of football forums in the future could be extremely interesting.

Try or no Try?

I'm a rugby league fan. I'm used to seeing video referee decisions that, to say the least, raise more questions than they answer.





I could go on and on about how I've seen video referee decisions that have caused outcry in the game. I remember seeing a decision go against Bradford Bulls which effectively cost them the Grand Final in 1999, I've seen my own team Leeds have plenty of decisions go against us and for us since the idea of video replays was first introduced to the sport in 1995.

Obviously, such instances are not unique to rugby league, as was proved less than a hour ago in the Rugby Union World Cup final.

England, trailing 9-3 early in the second half, make a rare clean break for the South African line, which ends in this very scene just seconds later:


A video referee is called in to adjudicate on the decision. Did Mark Cueto leave the field of play before he grounded the ball? The people watching my TV set as the action was replayed from various angles couldn't agree and, from that second picture at least, the fourth official was being asked to decide whether a certain blade of grass was painted white or not, such was the margin.

After plenty of deliberation, the try was ruled out. In the end, it would have made little difference as the Springboks came out 15-6 winners in Paris to clinch their second World Cup.

In the end, you'd have to say that it was a fair result and concede that the "right" team won the tournament. England have been poor in the years leading up to the tournament, they were poor when they first arrived in France and, long story short, they aren't the best team in the world. South Africa on the other hand, are unbeaten in the tournament, thrashed England 36-0 in the group stages and knew how to play England's game tonight.

Lewis Hamilton could cheer the nation up tomorrow, as at the age of 22, he looks to become the first ever F1 driver to be crowned World Champion in his debut season.

Crap TV adverts

One advert is irritating me lately and really hope that I'm not the only one that cringes every time I see it.







It's the Bridgestone tyres advert, and I just don't get what it's trying to tell me.

Problem number one: The music bed is completely to cock. It starts with an operatic attempt at "World in Union" which, whilst not my first choice for a tyre commercial, isn't completely unacceptable, but the "sting" at the end is. It's completely out of sync and is the sort of thing that would fail a GCSE media studies project, let alone a multi-million pound marketing campaign.

Then, the images. Why would I deliberately drive over a wooden plank with 12 inch nails protruding upwards? Why would I be interested in F1 slicks that aren't road legal? Why would the fact that Bridgestone tyres are used on a Boeing 747 encourage me to put them on my Citroen Saxo? You really haven't identified your demographic have you?

I'd love to meet the marketing exec who signed it off.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find the offending article online, but I have managed to find another Bridgestone commercial from years gone by, but one that probably didn't make our airwaves.

The ad still seems to be more one for a certain car manufacturers brake discs, but it's better than what they are currently inflicting upon us.

A great sporting weekend

What a fantastic sporting weekend we have just witnessed.....







Now upon seeing that sentence, you'll probably be expecting this blog post to claim how fantastic it was that England's footballers beat a team of Estonian bricklayers and minicab drivers whilst the nation's over aged public-schoolboy squad somehow squirmed their way into the Rugby Union World Cup final against a side that, for much of their history, were merely a Nazi-sponsored band of looters and thieves. (Mike Rylance's book 'The Forbidden Game' will tell you more).

But no. For me, the event of the weekend was the engage Super League Grand Final in which my team Leeds battered the defending champions St Helens by 33-6 to win the domestic rugby league championship.

Before the game it was impossible to split the sides. In the past three meetings, Leeds had won two, St Helens the other. In the league, one competition point split first-placed St Helens from the Rhinos and in the play-off game at Knowsley Road, a dubiously awarded penalty goal was all that split the pair. What we saw was a second-half blitz from Leeds which blew away the current World Club Champions.

It was a fantastic day out in Manchester and, unusually for a Leeds side, a stunning final performance in front of 71,000 people at Old Trafford.

It wasn't just the victory, or the manner of the victory against a side that has really set the benchmark in recent seasons, but there were plenty of other subplots behind yesterday's game.

In the early hours of Saturday, just a matter of hours before the sides were due to take the field, former Leeds scrum-half Jeff Stevenson passed away at the age of 75. During the presentation, Leeds captain Kevin Sinfield paid tribute to the Leeds legend in his post-match acceptance speech.

If their was any other motivation needed for the side, another Leeds legend and perennial gobshite Garry Schofield was busy making himself look an idiot one again and proclaiming how Leeds would get stuffed. As great a player Schofield was for both Leeds and Great Britain, he's a nothing pundit. Anyone inside the game knows that, the fans know that and the press know that - it's just that he can always be relied upon to make a stupid headline grabbing comment at the expense of his own dignity - as was the case this weekend and many weekend's before it.

It was also the final game in charge of Leeds for coach Tony Smith - and what a final game. After joining the club in 2004, Smith has guided Leeds to three Grand Finals in four years, winning two of them and in his debut season, brought Leeds their first title for 32 years. Smith will now take the job of national team coach.

So all in all, a fantastic sporting weekend only dampened by Farsley Celtic's unlucky 1-0 loss to Oxford United.

Getting the message across?

The BBC are in a bit of bother again this week, except this time they aren't pulling a premium-rate phone scam or getting 9-year-olds to fake a competition win.






As part of a HIV awareness drive, the Beeb have introduced an educational video which has been attacked by "parent groups" (no me neither). It's probably worth mentioning that the Metro happens to have some link with worst rag in the UK, the Daily Mail, a publication that is hardly supportive of the BBC it has to be said.

Judge for yourself:



Now I don't care what anybody says - that's funny. OK, so the overall message might get lost in translation, but it's definitely got people talking and no doubt the hits for that online video will be skyrocketing.

Mission accomplished surely?

Football Fortunes

After a summer of turmoil, Leeds United are appearing in a live televised game for the first time this season.






OK, so it's the Johnstone's Paint Trophy, the butt of all professional football jokes since it's inception in 1983, but they face Darlington tonight on the road to Wembley. It was almost inevitable that the match presenter opened the programme with "Seven years ago, Leeds were in the Champions League", but playing in the football league trophy is hardly the worst thing that could have happened to the club lately.

After being all-but relegated last season, the club exploited a Football League loophole and entered administration due to the long-term debts the club accrued in an ill-fated drive for the Champions League, with unsecured debts totaling £100m at one point before a succession of chairman chipped away at the debt.

Football League rules meant that Leeds incurred a 10-point penalty for their financial situation but, as they were effectively relegated anyway, the club faced the wrath of fellow Football League members.

As it emerged, it was all one big debt avoidance scheme by chairman Ken Bates, a man who himself resides in the tax-haven that is Monte Carlo.

Creditors of the club were vast, ranging from a local mobile DJ, a balloon supplier, St Gemma's Hospice and the St John's Ambulance but it was four main parties that were of major interest in this remarkable saga.

Whilst their was a number of creditors, the bulk of the debt was owed to four parties. Astor Holdings, Krato Trust, Forward Sports Fund and HMRC - the tax man to you and me. But here's the twist: Nobody had ever heard of the former three firms, they were based at various parts of the globe, including the British Virgin Islands, where businesses can set themselves up almost anonymously. The link was that Bates was attached or associated with the three firms all along. He was in a win-win situation. 75% of a creditors vote was needed for a new ownership of the club, yet Bates himself was attached to 45% of the creditors.

Bates promptly made an offer to creditors - you would get 1p back for every £1 you were owed. That meant that a local hospice, who were owed more than £800, would get little more that £8. However, in line with Football League regulations, all 'football creditors' had to be paid. That meant that former players, owed hundreds of thousands of pounds, would receive every penny.

The offer didn't go down too well with the tax-man, who challenged the resulting CVA.

I could go on here but I'll bore you. Long story short, the CVA was scrapped, against Football League rules, and after much uncertainty over whether the club would be allowed to compete, they were eventually, at the eleventh hour, granted entry to League One - with a 15-point deduction and no FA membership.

There was one other Yorkshire side though who weren't so lucky.

Scarborough FC are another football club who had been teetering on the brink of collapse for a number of years.

As the debts mounted, the solution seemed to be to leave their home at Seamer Road and move to a new, purpose built ground on the outskirts of the city. There nothing wrong with the McCain Stadium, I went their myself whilst following Farsley Celtic last season and as a Conference North ground, there few, if any that were better. But the site was prime land for property developers. Flats and apartments were starting to surround the ground and the "Seadogs" wanted to cash-in on the housing boom.

But local politics got in the way. A covenant existed on the site that restricted its use only to sporting activities. There was no way that the site could be sold to a property developer without the covenant being lifted. Despite the club's best efforts to convince the authorities that this plan would save the club, Scarborough Borough Council refused to budge.

Inevitably, the club was wound up. A new club has formed, Scarborough Athletic, in the Northern Counties East League and the club, an offshoot from a side that was facing Chelsea in the FA Cup in 2004, will face Kirkbymoorside this coming Saturday as part of a league campaign that will take in Rainworth Miners Welfare and the Leeds Metropolitan University team.

There are probably intricacies and details that I'm probably not aware of in the case of Scarborough FC, but from the outset, it seems a shame that a local authority was so short-sighted when it came to the state of the club. After insisting that the site at Seamer Road could only be used for sport, they now have a site with no sports team which will, in all likelihood, be sold off to a property developer.

I also type this just hours after Widnes Vikings RLFC themselves entered administration.

In the chase for promotion, they banked heavily on a result which, on Sunday, never came. Today the club are counting the cost of that ambition and, although it would seem unlikely, the sport could lose one of it's great names.

The rugby league authorities are introducing a franchising system from 2009, which would eliminate automatic promotion and relegation and force clubs to build a long-term plan and prove that they are capable of competing in the elite division - both on and off the field. It can't come soon enough.

A Plea

On Friday night, Leeds Rhinos ended their home campaign by booking their place at the Rugby Super League Grand Final at Old Trafford.

A 36-6 victory over Wigan in the Final Eliminator of the play-offs means that Leeds will now face St Helens at the home of Manchester United for the right to be crowned Super League champions and after queuing for around 2 and a half hours from 7:50am on Saturday, I had my match ticket in hand.

The Grand Final itself is a fantastic concept and a great day out. The game is played in the sports traditional heartlands, Manchester City Centre opens up it's bars to supporters of all clubs without the need for the heavy police presence that accompanies certain other sports and the game itself is as tense as anything ever seen in a sporting arena. A full season of work comes down to 80 minutes.

That photo was taken in 2004 - when Leeds won the championship for the first time in 32 years and it was an unforgettable day. It also showed that even Leeds' rugby team can do something that Leeds United can't do - win at Old Trafford. ;)

But there is one downside. One blight on the evening that spoils the day for all involved - air horns.

Despite the various signs displayed at every turnstile informing you that such items are banned from all British sporting stadia, street traders the length of Sir Matt Busby Way will be peddling these infernal horns to people stupid enough to buy them. As soon as the gates open and you reach your seat, you are guaranteed to be sat in front of some brat who insists pointing his new-found toy directly at your ear lobe.

Some of us see sense. There is a bloke selling the same offending articles at Headingley, standing on St Michael's Lane before every home game. Despite this, I have never heard an air horn sound in the ground for as long as I can remember - and I don't think that's down to the eagle-eyed stewards telling purchasers where to shove the offending object before they enter the ground. Quite how that seller earns a living is quite intriguing.

So anyway - it's time to take a stand. If you're going to the Grand Final on Saturday - don't buy air horns. Don't even think about it - just don't.

I even made a crappy photoshop banner to start my campaign. Feel free to steal it if you wish.

Ice Hockey is funny

The NHL came to London this week in the first of many attempts by the Americans to spark some interest from Europe in sports that, generally speaking, only Americans play.




We've got Basketball and American Football yet to come, but the National Hockey League took centre stage this weekend as the Anaheim Ducks played the LA Kings in two NHL regular season fixtures.

The aim of the game is to build a team of big, angry, violent, toothless Canadians, give them a stick and some ice skates and get them to score more goals than the opposition whilst also trying to start as many fights as possible in the three periods of play - simple really.

As it turned out, LA won the first game 4-1 whilst the Ducks won the second game 4-1.

Personally, the main reason I subscribed to NASN (aside from the fact that it comes bundled with Setanta) was for the almost wall-to-wall NHL coverage and there is a hell of a lot of skill involved besides just trying to knock as many teeth out of an opponents gum as possible, even if that is the biggest crowd puller. A bit like this one between the Philadelphia Flyers and Owatta Senators:



But in the world of sporting hard-men, there's always one who's on standby ready to make a pillock of himself and in this blog, we pay homage to Calgary Flames hard-nut Dion Phaneuf.

Enjoy!

Know your market

Every now and again, the local free-paper that sometimes turns up is stuffed with leaflets for local window cleaners, drive tarmac'ers and the local supermarkets.



This week, said paper did turn up, with said offers leaflet from said supermarkets.

Now a quick browse through the offers of cheap fish fingers, tinned soups and of course, booze, brought to my attention a drink known as "Red Square".

This Red Square happens to be a vodka-mixer jobbie that is packaged "RTD" (Ready-to-drink, apparently). But what intrigued me more is the tag-line: "Ibiza in a Can".

Now at first it puzzled me as to how you could fit a Balearic Island into a 500ml aluminium container. Then of course, it hits you as to what their audience actually is. The idea of Ibiza that they want to get across isn't sandy beaches, blistering sun and blue seas, it's expensive nightclubs, pissed-up revellers and sick in the streets. Red Square, naturally, prefers to say that the product is aimed at "18-24 year-olds". I prefer to say "aimed at the type of Chavs that watch Jeremy Kyle".

Jerry Springer wannabe Jeremy Kyle has had his chat show blasted as "human bear-baiting" by a judge this week after a studio guest was convicted assaulting another guest during a recording of the show.

Kyle's day-time talk show essentially encourages families from Britain's underclass to come on stage, get their 15 minutes of fame, swear at each other on national TV and then make an emotional pledge never to sleep with the milkman / barmaid / TV repair man ever again. All the while Kyle talks down to them from his high-and-mighty position.

It's a show that always walks the tightrope for what was acceptable and it was only a matter of time before it went too far. Like most ITV shows, it's car-crash television specifically catered for the hard-of-thinking. It's the same reason why Jerry Springer was so popular for a brief period until people started seeing through it.

At least it's good to see ITV's name getting dragged through the gutter once again. A few more premium-rate phone scandals, high profile criticisms and profit warnings and we might see the last of their garbage.

Is Graffiti "Art"?

The jailing of two teenage 'graffiti artists' for 15 and 12 months in Manchester has hit the headlines this week.








The pair caused around £13,000 worth of damage on a graffiti spree that saw them target a number of rail stations across the North West but whilst the jail sentences handed to the pair have been condemned, the issue has also re-opened a debate on the issue of this so-called 'urban art'.

On the one hand, you have those who claim that graffiti is a unique brand of art which typifies urban, inner-city life. Many of the underground walkways in Bradford City Centre used to feature this form of art in an attempt to make the subway system more appealing. Graffiti was often used to make political statements, particularly in Northern Ireland, promote under-represented subcultures and in the US, many of the world's leading brands utilise graffiti art as a form of advertising.

But on the other side of the coin, you have those who say that graffiti is nothing more than another form of vandalism, petty crime and yet another symbol of urban decay and inner-city squaller.

Most politicians, it must be said, seem to side with the latter argument and understandably so. Most graffiti isn't art at all and there's no way that the words "Daz woz 'ere" scrawled on a bus shelter would get nothing more than a derisory look from any right-minded individual.

But then take someone like "Banksy" and some of his work, which is undoubtedly impressive:


Of course, the sentences handed out to these two lads has also been questioned. Without trying to turn this into a "why give these kids 15 months when people who get much less" argument, it is excessive.

You have to question to what degree these youngsters are a danger to society and you'd also have to question what a custodial sentence will achieve which a community service wouldn't have achieved? The elder of the pair will now miss his first year of university and a year of trying to better himself to be able to contribute back to society. Instead, he's at even greater danger of turning to a life of petty crime.

Manchester, like many major cities in the UK has it's share of problems, but should clamping down on over expressive 'art' really be the priority?

Crisis Management 101

This morning's staff meeting at London 2012 HQ was probably a busy one after Channel 4's Dispatches uncovered some pretty damaging truths about the real costs of the 2012 Olympics.


Despite the warnings that the games would be astronomically over budget, barely finished on time and be a massive drain on resources, those in power tried to convince us all, even those of us outside the M25, that's we'd all benefit from London hosting the Games of the XXX Olympiad.

And last night, Channel 4 told us what only the most foolish already knew, and much more besides.

Economic research, previously hidden by the DCMS, blew out of the water the idea that we'd all be winners in the Olympic race. The 2012 organisers tried to sell us the idea that Olympic teams would be setting up camp at a hotel in Yorkshire, going for a brisk warm-up at a council-owned athletics facility in Hunslet and then jumping on the bus down the the Olympic Park. All of which was an idea that got no further than the imagination of Sebastian Coe's sound-bites and press releases.
In total, London will see investment of around £5.9bn whilst the rest of the UK loses around £4bn, that's before you factor in lost Lottery funding.

That brings us nicely onto the point that most of the press have picked up from the documentary, Seb Coe's involvement in the games, with Dispatches alleging that he had benefited to the tune of £200,000 in his role as an after-dinner speaker.

Now I'll hold my hands up and admit that, at times, Dispatches can be as objective as a Michael Moore film but in this case, it summed up what a lot of us already suspected about the Olympics. The bid party knew they had to drum up support, and so they were going to at whatever costs.

What stood out for me personally though is the number of private individuals involved and why some of these organisations were headed by very public figures. Not just some no-mark MP, but London Mayor Ken Livingston and Sport Minister Tessa Jowell for instance.

All of that allowed major public figures to conveniently skirt obligations under the Freedom of Information Act. This coming from a government that is trying to sell the idea of ID cards to us with the line "If you've nothing to hide then you've nothing to worry about."

It's little wonder that support for the game is at an all-time low. Once the Olympic bandwagon has well and truly packed-up and moved on to the next unsuspecting city, Sebastian Coe's "legacy" will be nothing more than dilapidated, grass-roots sports facilities starved of lottery funding, a East London community dismantled, an Olympic village sold off to wealthy property developers and a budget over-run that would make Montreal look like a bargain.

A day at the races

Nope, not horse racing. On Sunday I tootled along to Donington Park for the World Series by Renault weekend.





I've not really been a massive motorsport fanatic. I was one of many that became disenchanted with F1 after Rubens Barrichello pulled up before the finish line to let Michael Schumacher take the chequered flag at the 2002 Austrian Grand Prix. From then, I saw it nothing more than 24 moving cigarette adverts (and later, post tobacco advertising ban, mobile phone adverts), some evidently much quicker than others, all following team orders in order to contrive a result.

But I've tended to keep a ear to the ground anyway, especially in the lesser known versions, British Touring cars, World Rally Championship, that kind of thing.

And so we headed to Leicestershire for an event, armed with free tickets (a Yorkshireman doesn't turn down a freebie) to see what you don't tend to get with Bernie Ecclestone's offering these days, some competitive racing and fan friendly fun.


There was plenty going on as well. There were five races that day and two exibitions. One of which was of Renault's Formula One cars of yesteryear, including the John Player special once used by Ayrton Senna:


They then broke out the current Renault R26 racing car, which proved almost impossible to photograph:


But it did get a little easier as the day went on.......


There were plenty of side-stalls as well and it all made for a fantastic day out, all complimentary of Renault Sport and one that probably be attending again. Ignore the fairgrounds, interactive games and simulators in the infield where you got to queue for ages, there was still plenty to keep you occupied between races.The infield still had exhibitions from the Renault Collectors and Classic Car club and after we'd had a wander around there, we headed into the Paddock.

Here you had plenty of photo opportunities, chances to talk to drivers / mechanics, classic car shows, collectors car show, it was a petrol-head's paradise.


There were obviously people there who didn't fall into the "casual viewer" category like I did and they felt right at home talking about gear mechanisms, power-to-weight ratios and slip-differentials, stuff that goes way above my head.

Me? My interests were elsewhere....


Who said motorsport was dull?!

Missing a trick here.

The BBC have apparently ditched an idea to screen one of those eco-nutter enviromental save-the-planet type programmes after the dross that was Live Earth back in July.




Judging by the working title of "Planet Relief", it would have been similar to those telethon type shows like Children in Need and Comic Relief where all night the viewing public are subjected to hour after hour of dancing BBC news-readers, signing Eastenders stars and hour after hour of Graham Norton.

The show, which would have been presented by Ricky Gervais, wouldn't have been asking us to phone up and pledge money, the BBC aren't doing that at the minute, but instead they would have insisted on a "big switch-off".

The Beeb's decision has angered the eco-nutters no end but I'm very pleased that the BBC have decided not to jump on the global warming band-wagon.

The last thing we need is another programme pandering to the cries of the environmental lobby and trying to persuade me that by taking my TV off stand-by and unplugging my mobile phone charger, I will bring the polar bears back from extinction and save a jungle tribe in Papua New Guinea from the apocalypse.

Let's face it, any good work that we do will be more than undone by the world's growing economies. 'Going-green' clearly isn't encouraged by public transport policies and it's very clear that our elected leaders are using the global warming bandwagon as an excuse to hide additional forms of taxation.

But this big switch-off thing, that could have been a success. Usually the first sight of these telethon shows, or anything with Ricky Gervais is enough to make me turn the TV off.

Did I misplace a washer?

On Monday, Leeds ground to a complete halt as a burst watermain closed off the busiest part of the busiest road in the city.




I was going to write something about it, but Jerry Chicken is much more on-the-ball on a morning than I am and I just couldn't bring myself to plagerise all his hard work, so I'll just link to it instead.

Although that Michael bloke he talks about seems to be a smart chap. I propose that they put him in a position of power somewhere.

One brilliant comedian

Last night, your typical Leeds Rhinos fan should have probably been getting wet at Odsal, as Leeds went to Bradford for the fourth local derby of the rugby league season, but I wasn't. Instead, the Leeds Grand Theatre was the venue for my nights entertainment.




Geordie comedian Ross Noble kicked-off his latest UK tour "Nobleism" in Leeds yesterday evening and put on yet another brilliant performance.

For most people, the only time that they would have seen Noble would have been as a panel guest on 'Have I got News for You?' and even then, most people would only remember his as "that long-haired geordie bloke".

For men, having first seen him stand-up completely by accident as I watched TV at 11pm in a hotel in Bristol, I quickly ended up with his three DVD's. Yesterday was the first time I've seen him live

As a modern-day stand-up, there are not many better and it's a brand of stand-up that you don't see very often. Ask him what his act is and he'll tell you that it's not much more than four words on a piece of scrap paper. Almost all of it is based on his surroundings and crowd interaction. Some of his acts are so surreal it's untrue and whenever I see his acts I'm amazed at how his mind works sometimes.

He's certainly worlds apart from much more renowned comedians such as Ricky Gervais, who couldn't even begin to put together a spontaneous act on a par with Noble's. Something that Gervais demonstrated overtly in his "rabbit in headlights" performance at the Concert for Diana a few months back when he quickly realised that he'd run out of material with around 8 minutes of his act remaining and so, rather than embarrass himself in front of the royal family and a worldwide TV audience, he'd dance around on stage like a burke.

As for last night? An absolutely fantastic show and one that I'd recommend anyone to recommend although it may be offensive to people in the following groups:

• Leeds City Council
• Sex offenders
• Drug addicts
• Walt Disney
• Kinder Egg factory workers
• Nurses
• Daily Mail readers
• Customs officers
• The unemployed
• Roller Bladers
• Homosexuals
• Christians
  
• The cast of Starlight Express
• Airport Check-in assistants
• New Zealanders
• People who carry kazoos
• Muslims
• Taxi drivers
• Chesney Hawks
  
• Prostitutes
  
• Turtle lovers
• The town of Halifax
  
• The elderly
• Howard, the signing bloke from the Halifax commercials
  

There are probably more but anyway, here's an official clip from one of his previous tours, just for fun.

The Wembley Way

The new Wembley was finally opened a few months ago and after a succession of football matches and rock concerts, it was the turn of Rugby League to grace the new £800million venue.



Sometimes forgotten about in Wembley history, the Rugby League Challenge Cup final has been played at the national stadium since 1929. There have been some memorable events that have taken place at the old Wembley stadium that, unfortunately, tend to get buried under the hysteria surrounding the equally famous football and music events that the venue has hosted.

The picture above was taken at the 1999 Challenge Cup Final. It was the last rugby final to be played at Wembley before the twin towers were demolished and it was the first time I ever saw my side Leeds win a major trophy in the flesh, after plenty of final defeats it has to be said.
Then Leeds captain Iestyn Harris (on the right) is pictured with man-of-the-match Leroy Rivett, who became the first player to score four tries in a cup final. His career has since nose-dived and the last I heard, he was working at a bowling alley in Leeds City Centre.
He was present at Wembley last week, as part of a parade of Lance Todd Trophy winners, although he should have probably asked someone about the expected dress-code.

But there has been many more memorable events that go down, not just in rugby league history, but in sporting history. Take Don Fox's missed goal in the 1968 final that handed Leeds victory over Wakefield. The day when Bradford's Robbie Paul became the first scorer of a hat-trick at Wembley - and still ended up on the losing side as the Bulls went down to St Helens in 1996.

In 1998, it was the Sheffield Eagles who caused one of the biggest sporting upsets ever seen as they beat the mighty Wigan Warriors in a final that some regard as the greatest ever seen in the cup's 110 year history.

And it would have been an upset of similar proportions last week had St Helens fallen to the Catalans Dragons, the first ever non-British side to compete in a Challenge Cup final.

The Dragons, only in their second year in existence in their current guise, were massive underdogs and so it seemed only right that I became a part-time bandwagon-jumping Dragon for the day.

Here are a sample of photos from the day:

Some people were warned about staying in Leeds until 4:00am when a 7:00am departure was planned. Unfortunately, your's truly got conned into driving so couldn't enjoy himself the night before. Whilst I was awake, driving, these scenes were also repeated on the M40 / A43 / M1 on the way home.

Walking down Wembley away, this at about 11:00am.

Bobby Moore's statue


In my defence, I'd not bought the Catalans shirt just because they got to the final - this was a souvenir from my trip to Perpignan last season. I've even been to a Catalans game in England (vs Bradford, albiet on a freebie) so that doesn't really make me a bandwagon jumper.....


View from on high....


And again....


The match kicks-off.

Impressions on Wembley? Very impressive. For some, it will take some getting used to and it does lack the ore and sentimentality of the old stadium but in terms of facilities, it's infinitely better. The concourses are wide and surprisingly light for a fully enclosed walkway, the views are impressive (the above photo doesn't do it justice) and in terms of architecture, it's a far cry from those IKEA flat-pack retail park football stadiums that are unfortunately, becoming increasingly common in this country.

The only gripe is the location. I could have come up with a more imaginative place for a national stadium than a North London industrial estate, but that was as much a problem with the old stadium as it is with this one. They are regenerating the immediate area, although my suspicions are that theses will be no more than yuppie apartment blocks. We shall see.

The atmosphere was a bit flat, but I don't think that two sides so far apart, both geographically and playing-wise, would have generated an electric atmosphere. The noise does carry around the stadium well though.

All in all, an enjoyable day out. The result wasn't what I hoped but I wasn't overly fussed. I'd certainly go again, hopefully it will be Leeds there next year!

We don't want your business, leave us alone

Once again, a quick scan of the letters page in the Yorkshire Evening Post reveals numerous complaints about the state of public transport in the city and, in particular, the sheer incompetence of First.

Tales of vanishing services, non-existent customer service, poor standards of driving, punctuality, poor cleanliness and unacceptable driver attitudes towards customers are only the start of it and unfortunately, these experiences aren't in the minority if my own experience of rush-hour travel in Leeds is anything to go by.

It's the first time that I've not had access to an employee car park since starting my new role and so it was an ideal opportunity, or so I thought, to do my bit for the environment, cut congestion and save a few quid in the process.

How wrong I was.

The day starts by being crammed into a single-decked vehicle on some of the busiest commuter routes in Yorkshire with less leg-room than that found on a Ryanair flight. I'm then carted around every estate in West Leeds in the sweltering heat, because said vehicle has completely inadequate ventilation.

I arrive in the city centre and have to fight my way to the front of the vehicle because the inadequate seating facilities force other paying customers to stand in the narrow gang-way. Driver of said vehicle drives past my required stop due to his lack of observation and/or customer service skills.

Come 5:30pm, and I've got to cut short any idea of overtime - public transport clocks-off at 6:00pm despite the fact that much of Leeds' economy is based on retail and a thriving nightlife - both industries that work well after six.

So it's out as close to 5:30pm as possible and race outside to the bus stop which, thankfully, is right outside the office.

Now this is the bit that confuses most drivers, as they seem to struggle with the idea that bus stops tend to be on the left hand side of a dual-carriageway. Most drivers, for whatever reason, seem to move into the right hand lane (or to give it it's official term, the overtaking lane) well before said bus stop, making embarkation impossible. Quite what they think they are going to overtake at 5:30pm on a city centre road is beyond me, and the First customer services team are yet to answer my query.

I'm forced to walk to another stop to catch another bus but because that is a single-decked vehicle, I'm forced to wait further before I'm ready to repeat the morning routine, albeit in the other direction.

And for all this, I hand over £14 of my hard-earned every week.

I'd really like to say that I hadn't made up these experiences, but they have all happened in the space of just four weeks. I've genuinely given First Leeds an opportunity to prove that they can do something right, that there is more to them than just PR stunts and that they are capable of providing a viable alternative to driving myself into work. They can't do it, to the point where there services are simply unusable.

They don't want my business. No other private company could treat their customers with such contempt and expect repeat business, but then again, no other business would be allowed to build such an anti-competitive monopoly on an essential public service.

It's a far cry from other cities, not least London, which proved to me on Saturday that public transport can efficiently and safely transport more than 84,000 to a sporting event on a North London industrial estate, and then set them on the way home again. Compare with the two train carraiges offered by First Transpennine to transport Leeds and Bradford rugby league supporters and the majority of a 65,000 crowd back to West Yorkshire from Manchester.

These are problems that could all be solved quite easily. It just takes a bit of thought and some focus and the minute that First stop messing around with pointless PR stunts claiming to be the "ftr" (sic) of travel, the better. Rather than seeing their customers as an inconvinience, see them as customers and treat them as such.

As it is, I won't be using another service operated by First. Unfortunately foor the city's transport planners, that means yet another one-occupant vehicle adding to the congestion problems. It's not costing me much more in contract parking and to be honest, what little extra that it does cost is certainly money well spent.

But perhaps I should be careful in passing judgement on First's services, given that they've come up with a rather novel way of dealing with customer complaints.
Rather than acknowledge the complaint and address the issues raised, First have decided that they'd rather sue anyone who dares to question their means.

Nice to see that they care.

National Treasures?

Bloomin' Heck! I forgot about this thing!

I know I've not been here for a few days. It's not because I've not been up to anything interesting, I've had plenty on lately. I've still got some comments from my holiday I wanted to get across, I've seen the new Wembley and I've generally been enjoying myself.
I've followed the on-going summer soap-opera that is Leeds United's administration, tried to get my money's worth from my Bodyline gym membership and basically, tried to take advantage of the fact that I no longer work evenings or weekends.
I just don't feel that I've had the time over the past few months or so to add to this thing.
I'm only just settled into a new job, a new routine and there's been plenty that I've wanted to get out of the way. Perhaps writing for a living has diluted my enthusiasm for blogging somewhat? I hope not.

Anyway, back to business.

See the place on the left, that's Stonehenge.








It's one of the 27 World Heritage sites in the UK and is one of the most famous prehistoric sites in the world.

It attracts tourists from all around the world with around 750,000 visitors making the journey to Salisbury in Wiltshire.

Now all of that is fine, until you actually get there and my gripe is this.

In the UK, it was decided that our "national treasures" should be just that, something for the nation to enjoy. Walk into any museum in the country with the word "National" in the title (amongst others) and the chances are that you won't find a single ticket booth. Instead, they are almost completely government funded so that anyone, regardless of their wallet size, can sample a piece of history or in some cases, the most modern innovations of our time.

Within a short drive from the place I'm currently typing, I've got the choice of seeing the Royal Armouries in Leeds, The National Railway Museum in York, the National Museum of Photography, Film and Television in Bradford and the National Coal Mining Museum near Wakefield and I could see any of them, in fact, I've seen three of them already, for nothing more that my petrol costs and a few hours in a pay and display car park.

And this is where the link with Stonehenge comes in. For a so-called "site of world importance", I was quite taken aback to see that, for the privilege of seeing something that belongs to the nation, I would be expected to part with nigh-on £7.00. Perhaps not a massive amount at first glance, but when you have a party of four to consider, £28.00 to see something that, whilst it has a lot of mystic and history behind it, isn't that much to look at all things considered.

Perhaps I'm not the only person who feels that way. The site was recently voted as one of the most disappointing tourist destinations in the world.

Now you might be reading this and thinking "Ah-Ha - When I go, I'll just drive past and look over the fence whilst taking photos!" Well, not so fast.

English Heritage, who are tasked with preserving the sight, have realised the flaws in their business plans and have plans afoot to put that right.

There are two roads that surround Stonehenge. One of them, which leads to the car park, will be closed. The other, which is the A303 trunk road, will be roofed over, putting the road in darkness where the henge was once visible. A new visitor centre is being constructed - two miles away - and tourists will be charged for the train-ride up to the site. It's such an elaborately villainous scheme, I couldn't possible make some sort of libelous and derogatory comment about them. Even a Dr Evil would have been proud of that. Oh - and guess whose paying?

But Stonehenge isn't the only target of my gripe either.

See this building here? That's Shakespeare's old gaff.









He was born at his very house in Stratford Upon Avon and it is from here, that he started his devilish plan to irritate every single GCSE English student.

Now again, you'd think that the birthplace of someone who is unquestionably the greatest play-write England has ever produced would be considered a site of national importance.

Well, it is important, but only if you're willing to stump-up the £7.00 entry fee.

I appreciate that these sorts of places have to be maintained and looked after, but given that anything remotely breakable is fenced-off from prying hands, it makes you wonder how big the financial 'black-hole' is at these sorts of places.

That said, don't let it put you off visiting Stratford, it's actually a very nice town.

I won't say much more, I'd only be repeating what I've said a few paragraphs prior but you get the general gist of what I'm trying to say. Perhaps it's just the rantings of a stereotypically tight Yorkshireman, or perhaps this 'national importance' thing isn't all it's cracked up to be.


PS: Oh, and the date, ignore that - I've had this idea saved as a draft for ages now!