God Bless the Hand Car Wash

Popular in the States for far too long, the commercial minnow that is the 'Hand Car Wash' has seemingly crossed the Atlantic and set up base in Britain.
For years and years, we've had to endure "IMO" and their mechanical monsters enguliving your pride-and-joy with it's huge rollers and snapping your car antenna as it spits you out the other side with a scratched and not-very-clean car.
Then of course there's the jet-wash which, quite frankly, despite being on every petrol station forecourt in the land, should require a license and training before they even let you near the thing.

But now, almost every major commuter route of of Leeds is lined with these Hand Car Wash's. Moving into dis-used petrol stations, and setting up camp, they've transformed the way in which Britains lazyist get our cars clean.
Yes, they may be the epitome of "probably less than minimum wage exploitation", with almost all the staff seemingly just arrived off the last mini-bus from somewhere in Eastern Europe, but look how clean my car is!

Just drive in on your way home, pay the man at the gate your £5.50, and sit back and listen to your Stereophonics CD, whilst the other blokes direct you with milimetre precision to "move forward" and "stop there" with dubious hand guestures. You even get a little airfreshner to hang on your rear-view mirror.

Not only that, but some of them have brilliant names. OK, you've got the wholey unorigional, "Leeds Hand Car Wash" and "Mr Clean", but head up to Morley in South Leeds and you'll come across "Mr Hand Job". Top marks to whoever did that!

Yes, the Hand Car Wash might signify everything that is wrong with the exploitation of foreign workers. Whilst six blokes who, between them know about the same number of words in English, slave other your bird-poo ridden motor at 6:30pm on a cold January evening, "Mr Clean" comes out of his cosy office and into his Porsche Boxter to head home early for the weekend.
But the Handy wash has become part of 21st British culture, it's what makes the rush hour worth while and, above all, it means I don't have to bleeding clean it!