Is Uri hoarding all the booze?

Looks like those Russians are in a bit of a pickle. Thank's to a new ruling, it looks like the country are about to run dry. It's not water that's the problem, nor is it that they've had to get rid of that gas that they couldn't pedle to the Ukraine. Oh no, it's something far more worrying than that. The Russians are about to run out of the one thing that makes them famous, vodka.

It would seem that a new law which came into force at the turn of 2006 has caught out Eastern Europe's biggest distilleries, who haven't yet embraced the digital age and started using computerised alcohol measures. Not only has it halted production, but it is also costing Putin and his cronies around £95m per day in liquor taxes.

Now, after two weeks with no liquor, the off-licenses are panicking and headlines of "The vodka is running out!" are starting to appear. Analyists are even predicting full-scale riots as drinkers turn to violence as they look for their favourite tipple.
Now, they say us Brits love our booze, but I think even in Leeds City Centre on a friday night you'd be unlikely to see riots because Yate's has gone through it's last barrell of Stella Artois. In fact the riots are usually caused by the fact that it is there in the first place.
Maybe that's a culture thing. The Brits go loopy with booze, the Russians go loopy without it.

Anyway, I don't see what all the fuss is about. That bloke "Uri" off the TV seems to have loads of the stuff stashed away at home. Have you not seen him on those Smirnoff adverts showing off his gigantic fridge and the like? Why not just go and ask him nicely for a quick drink? Unless of course, the Smirnoff corp are telling porky's and Uri is in fact, not Russian at all? No, surely not.