Friday, November 16, 2007

How hard is it to buy a ping-pong ball?

Seriously, how hard can it be to find a very simple, very common piece of sporting equipment in one of biggest cities in the UK and one that prides itself on a thriving retail industry?







In the office we are fortunate enough to enjoy the use of a ping-pong table.

I know at this point many of you will be reading with disgust. "A ping-pong table at work? You want to get 'yer hands dirty in a a real job and do a proper day's work" I hear you cry, and you'd be right but right now, I'm enjoying my job of manipulating Google search results and enjoying the title of the world's worst semi-professional ping-pong player.

The latter point was further demonstrated this afternoon when the sixth and last remaining ping-pong ball from this latest pack was sent flying down Wellington Street after being smashed out of an open sixth-floor window and, as far as I am aware, is still rolling along the gutter towards Kirkstall.

So because of that indiscretion, I was sent in search of a fresh batch of balls or I would incur the wrath of fellow players....I mean workers.

Now in the UK, you have a problem because if you want a piece of sports equipment, you can't go to a sports shop - at least not a city centre high-street sports shop.

For instance, you wouldn't go into a sports shop and ask for a snooker cue because
a) The 14-year-old staff member wouldn't know what a snooker cue is, and
b) a snooker cue isn't the latest chav-brand hoodie that UK sports shops specialise in.

In fact, one particular sports chain specialise in the cheap crappy chav-orientated merchandise more than others that it won national recognition over the success of it's audience targeted product range. (In fact, I've mentioned this before)

It also earned the distinction of being named the worst of the 50 biggest UK high-street retailers in the UK by consumer magazine Which? Needless to say, they couldn't provide me with a simple piece of equipment.

There's also another option in Leeds. The chav-wear emporium on the Headrow which has been "closing down tomorrow and everything must go - right now" for the past four years. This, if anything, was an even more hellish experience and if I happened to be a government employee investigation Disability Discrimination Act compliance, I'd take great pleasure in closing down said establishment.

They also, were unable to perform the function that the sign above their door claims to serve.

So, the sports shops couldn't provide me with a simple piece of spots equipment. Thankfully, a catalogue shop that doesn't specialise in sports equipment could.

It's no wonder that internet shopping has boomed.

3 comments:

Silverback said...

Never mind ping pong balls.....try buying a Union Jack in Leeds. Impossible.

I wanted one to bring with me to the US as they're always flying theirs and I wanted to 'fly the flag' outside my place here in Florida.

Leeds sports shops, if it's not World Cup year, forget it. Leeds Market, forget it. Department stores, forget it.

So I did.

But congrats on being a double award winner. I'd wave my flag but , but, well, you know.

Ian

John_D said...

Office ping-pong? Pfft. Office cricket. That's what we had. Only thing I miss about the old job really.

Gary said...

You're lucky, some journo who's name I forget, was interviewed on some radio station who's name I also forget, last year or maybe the year before, explaining how he was thrown out of a London branch of JJB for asking for a cricket box and when he tried to explain what it was, was threatened with the police.

That was all rather vague wasn't it ?

Anyway - plenty of spaces left on the southstander curry neet :)