$500,000 for Messing Up a Cricket Match? I Wish I Thought of That!

I'm no major cricket fan, I can understand the jist of what goes on, but don't really get into it that much. However, most of you probably know about the recent England vs Pakistan Test match which was postponed, which stemmed from a alleged ball tampering incident and the resultant protests from the Pakistani team.



Now it emerges that Darrell Hair, the umpire at the centre of the contraversy, has offered to clear off, but only on the proviso that he picks up a cheque for half a million US$ first.
Regardless of the fact that this said umpire failed to cite the actual perpetrator in the alleged incident, despite a plethora of TV cameras being present at the Brit Oval, and regardless of the fact that Hair's record of impartiality with regards to Asian sides is questionable at best, it still seems a fantastic idea.

I mean, in the current pensions crisis and with interest rates going up lately, what better way to safeguard your future and start a comfy retirement? Instead of working your fingers to the bone until you are knocking on the door of God's waiting room and putting your hard earned into a not-so-brilliant pension fund, why not become a cricket umpire? Obviously, you couldn't concoct an elaberate ball tampering scenario - that idea has already been taken, but instead think of another way to get a high profile cricket match cancelled and then offer to walk out taking a blow-softening £270k with you! Pure Genius!

Chances are, Hair is looking for his new Bournmouth sea-front home as we speak.