Don't Do Anything

Stay inside, lock all your doors and windows, unplug the phone and keep the kids safe in their bedrooms.











Today being told that we're all going to die again by police chief Ian Blair who claims that the terrorists are onto something. OK, so we were all going to be horribly killed back in October, but this time it's for real and we should all stay inside.

Apparently, there is no "concrete intelligence" to suggest that anything specific is going to happen anywhere specific over the festive period. But still, we're in grave danger and rather than running the risk of being confronted by a complete lunatic, we should just put our feet up in from of the Christmas TV.

Not only that, even if you weren't blown to pieces by a religious extremist, you'll probably die from the inevitable flu pandemic which threatens to wipe out the entire population.

And even if you were stupid enough to want to leave the house after all these justified and accurate warnings, you wouldn't get anywhere. The plane's aren't flying, the roads are clogged up and the trains, well, they never run anyway.

Just stay at home at don't do anything, OK?

Making Your Mind Up

The world is falling apart, the oceans are getting deeper and we're going to have to learn how to swim by 2014 if we don't do something now.




At the risk of sounding like Jeremy Clarkson, I'm not entirely convinced by this 'go green' campaigning that's been doing the rounds.

My scepticism isn't exactly diluted by our elected band of leaders either who don't seem to be in unanimous agreement over which direction we should be heading in.

Take Gordon Brown's "green taxes" from a few weeks ago. According to him we should all leave our cars at home and stop taking advantage of the 5p flights offered by Ryanair, easyjet and Jet2. Doing such a thing is bad for the environment and for being so evil, we should all be made to pay for our transgresses. Apparently, £10 extra in airport tax is all that it will take for us to repent our sins and avoid an eternity of damnation.

Now all that would be fine if our glorious leaders didn't keep contradicting themselves.
I could happily accept that by driving to work I'm killing the West Vietnamese gumbo tree and that for doing so I should treated with contempt, if I didn't then see the 'Two Jags' Deputy Prime Minister jumping in a limousine to travel less than 250 yards to give a speech on using public transport.

So today's news that the government are pressing ahead with their airport expansion plans which include new runways at Heathrow and Stansted (a major base for low-cost airline Ryanair) doesn't really convince me to join Greenpeace and race to the Toyota Prius dealership.
On one hand Gordon Brown is telling us not to fly because that's naughty but on the other hand, Transport Secretary Douglas Alexander is increasing the supply of air travel and therefore encouraging an increase in demand.

It can't just be me who's confused by the plans to introduce green airport taxes and expand airports to fuel an extra demand in air travel, but I'm sure that there is a perfectly logical explanation.