We don't want your business, leave us alone

Once again, a quick scan of the letters page in the Yorkshire Evening Post reveals numerous complaints about the state of public transport in the city and, in particular, the sheer incompetence of First.

Tales of vanishing services, non-existent customer service, poor standards of driving, punctuality, poor cleanliness and unacceptable driver attitudes towards customers are only the start of it and unfortunately, these experiences aren't in the minority if my own experience of rush-hour travel in Leeds is anything to go by.

It's the first time that I've not had access to an employee car park since starting my new role and so it was an ideal opportunity, or so I thought, to do my bit for the environment, cut congestion and save a few quid in the process.

How wrong I was.

The day starts by being crammed into a single-decked vehicle on some of the busiest commuter routes in Yorkshire with less leg-room than that found on a Ryanair flight. I'm then carted around every estate in West Leeds in the sweltering heat, because said vehicle has completely inadequate ventilation.

I arrive in the city centre and have to fight my way to the front of the vehicle because the inadequate seating facilities force other paying customers to stand in the narrow gang-way. Driver of said vehicle drives past my required stop due to his lack of observation and/or customer service skills.

Come 5:30pm, and I've got to cut short any idea of overtime - public transport clocks-off at 6:00pm despite the fact that much of Leeds' economy is based on retail and a thriving nightlife - both industries that work well after six.

So it's out as close to 5:30pm as possible and race outside to the bus stop which, thankfully, is right outside the office.

Now this is the bit that confuses most drivers, as they seem to struggle with the idea that bus stops tend to be on the left hand side of a dual-carriageway. Most drivers, for whatever reason, seem to move into the right hand lane (or to give it it's official term, the overtaking lane) well before said bus stop, making embarkation impossible. Quite what they think they are going to overtake at 5:30pm on a city centre road is beyond me, and the First customer services team are yet to answer my query.

I'm forced to walk to another stop to catch another bus but because that is a single-decked vehicle, I'm forced to wait further before I'm ready to repeat the morning routine, albeit in the other direction.

And for all this, I hand over £14 of my hard-earned every week.

I'd really like to say that I hadn't made up these experiences, but they have all happened in the space of just four weeks. I've genuinely given First Leeds an opportunity to prove that they can do something right, that there is more to them than just PR stunts and that they are capable of providing a viable alternative to driving myself into work. They can't do it, to the point where there services are simply unusable.

They don't want my business. No other private company could treat their customers with such contempt and expect repeat business, but then again, no other business would be allowed to build such an anti-competitive monopoly on an essential public service.

It's a far cry from other cities, not least London, which proved to me on Saturday that public transport can efficiently and safely transport more than 84,000 to a sporting event on a North London industrial estate, and then set them on the way home again. Compare with the two train carraiges offered by First Transpennine to transport Leeds and Bradford rugby league supporters and the majority of a 65,000 crowd back to West Yorkshire from Manchester.

These are problems that could all be solved quite easily. It just takes a bit of thought and some focus and the minute that First stop messing around with pointless PR stunts claiming to be the "ftr" (sic) of travel, the better. Rather than seeing their customers as an inconvinience, see them as customers and treat them as such.

As it is, I won't be using another service operated by First. Unfortunately foor the city's transport planners, that means yet another one-occupant vehicle adding to the congestion problems. It's not costing me much more in contract parking and to be honest, what little extra that it does cost is certainly money well spent.

But perhaps I should be careful in passing judgement on First's services, given that they've come up with a rather novel way of dealing with customer complaints.
Rather than acknowledge the complaint and address the issues raised, First have decided that they'd rather sue anyone who dares to question their means.

Nice to see that they care.

This week I have been mostly...

...leaving my job.

After five and a half years of retail and pandering to halfwits in the customer service sector, Sunday saw me leave work with a leaving present of a crate of Stella Artois.

That might be a little unfair, not everyone who walks into a high-street retailer is a complete halfwit, but the ratio seems to be getting further weighted in that direction year upon year.

And so it's time for me to move on. After Thursday afternoon, I'll be liberated from the incompetence of Trinity & All Saints College and moving on to the next step, free from 6:30am Saturday morning starts and with a bit more pocket money to boot.

Like with any change, there's bit that you miss and bits that you won't. In many respects the former outweigh the latter but at the same time, those factors wouldn't encourage me to stay in retail or customer services much longer.

What it might also mean though is that updates on here from this point onwards might be even more sporadic than usual!

(PS, I don't travel home from work in a helicopter)

First Direct: Playing with Fire?

This morning's news that First Direct is to "end free banking" has quite understandably, caused a bit of a stir.






The bank, which operates primarily by phone and online, is to start levying a charge of £10 per month to current account holders, unless they can deposit £1,500 per month or take out further products, such as loans or insurance.

First Direct claim that the move will eliminate some 40,000 dormant accounts as well as around 250,000 accounts that see less that ten transactions a month and at the same time, allow the bank to "focus its efforts" on their "most important customers."

And that's the crux of the issue.

Banks are businesses like any other. They are in the industry to make money, not to fulfill some social responsibility that so many people think businesses should aspire to.
With the current slump in consumer spending as well as rising operating costs, many businesses have had to make a choice; do they want 'more' customers or do they want 'better' customers. It's not merely a case of following many people's simplistic view of more customers = more profit.
Such a decision is made in various industries, particularly n retail and product offerings and prices are decided to suit.

First Direct have clearly decided that they want 'better' customers. The customers that bring in more revenue and require them, as a business to spend less. As a result, they can maintain a reputation for customer service by better looking after the customers that remain.

Some people will claim that First Direct have shot themselves in the foot with this morning's announcement and a raft of account closures might initially show that the defectors are right.
But on the flip side, they'll be keeping the customers they want whilst lowering their costs significantly.

Expect First Direct's announced profits to be as high as ever.

It's All My Fault

Apparently.
A few months back I wrote about how the customer is rarely right and even longer ago, I wrote about how rubbish Chip & Pin was.




It's amazing how two things collide sometimes.

Today we arrive at work, 10:00am start for a 11:00am opening. At 10:20 the phone rings. Some dopey cow had left her card in the chip & pin reader yesterday and I was to be treated to the rendition of how it is everybody's fault except hers.

"I left my card in you machine yesterday, it's an absolute disgrace....this has ruined my weekend.....why don't you tell people to take their card out?.....I want some compensation.....I'm not buying things from somewhere with this attitude towards customer service......I'm not the one who's stupid.......blah blah rant rant"

I've said it before, but people's brains stop functioning when they are in a shop. They become mesmerised by the array of shiny things and they lose all train of thought.

So when a shop assistant says to them "Please put your card in the reader and follow the onscreen instructions." and then later says "please remove your card" at the same time an onscreen message says "REMOVE CARD" in block capitals with an audible alarm, what would any sane, normal, intelligent person do?

That's right, you'd leave your card in the reader and then phone up the next day to complain that it's the shop assistant's fault that your weekend was ruined.

Thankfully I leave Uni in June. Then it's the end for me in the world of retail and off on another adventure to encounter a different breed of ignoramus.

I Told You Trains Were Rubbish

But did you listen? Well, probably. In fact, you probably knew anyway.







Still, lets all laugh at Virgin Trains, who have now resorted to asking passengers to repair their faulty fleet.

One thing that I would question though is this:

Mr Gaskin told train staff he had some plastic cable ties and a tube of superglue in his briefcase.

Another passenger, who was a former Network Rail engineer, climbed on to the front of the engine and tried to fix the loose windscreen wiper blades but was unsuccessful.

Who on earth carries a bag of cable ties on a train journey?

Clearly not Mr Branson

"Do You Know What Time it is?"

Thanks to some Scottish farmers or something, last night at 2:00am we had to put all our clocks back by one hour.




This would be fine if every member of the public had the brain capacity to be able to comprehend such a simple concept, but they don't.

As a result, this Sunday of the year is absolutely the worst day to be working in a 'public service' industry.

Sunday trading laws dictate that shops over a certain size in the UK can only trade for six consecutive hours and cannot trade past 5:30pm. This has lead to an accepted standard trading times of 11-5 (which we use), or 10-4 for supermarkets.

So today we were inundated at 10:01am with people banging on the front door, demanding to know why our doors weren't open and why we weren't catering for all their moronic needs, refusing to acknowledge that it was purely them that couldn't tell the time:

Customer: "What time do you open?"
Shop worker: "11:00am"
Customer: "It's f**king 10-past, why aren't you f**king open?!"
Shopy: "It's 10 past 10"
Foul-mouthed Idiot: "No it f**king isn't, it 11:10!"
Shopy: "No it isn't, look (holds up watch)"
Foul-mouthed Idiot: "That f**king watch is wrong, look! (holds up watch)"
Shopy: "You haven't put your watch back"
Foul-mouthed Idiot: "Yer what?"
Shopy: "The clocks went back last night"
Foul-mouthed Idiot: "This is f**king stupid! Don't you talk to me like I'm a f**king idiot!"

And similar conversations ensued throughout the morning on top of various phone-calls from people asking how to change the clock back on their computer / mobile phone / sky box etc.

Oh, and not only were people struggling with traditions that are centuries old, they were also struggling with basic instructions on a answer phone.
If you were sad enough to call a shop at 8:00am on a Sunday morning and got this answer phone message:

Hello, thank-you for calling *********. The store is currently closed. Our opening hours are: Monday to Friday: 9-8. Saturday 9-6 and Sunday 11-5.

What time would you try and get to the store by? You wouldn't get there at 9:00am would you, unless you were a complete cretin? You certainly wouldn't argue that the above message is misleading any any way shape or form would you?

Unfortunately, some would.

Stop Calling!

Now for a polite request. Could people please stop calling the following companies;

Orange
Pipex





Having spent all day on hold between both companies and not yet getting through to either, I' asking you all to refrain from calling so that I can get through.

I'm currently trying to get through to Orange to get my broken phone fixed but I'm currently stuck here listening to Charlotte Church with a regular interruption of a robotic voice reassuring me that my call is important to them and will be answered shortly.

As for Pipex, they may already have wind that I'm calling to cancel their service and get my MAC code, hence they are blindly refusing to connect me to their customer services centre.

Thank-you for your cooperation.

*********************************************************************

UPDATE:

Thank-you all for your cooperation.

Within minutes of posting this, I was able to contact both call centres.

Idiocy in Academia.

Time for a consumer review:

The summer's over and I'm finally back at college. It's my third and final year and so now there's no time for mucking about and skipping lectures to drink something rank in the Student Union.


The only thing is, it would seem that the staff at Leeds Trinity & All Saints College are still on their summer vacation.

The confusion started before I even went back. I popped in to pay my tuition fees around a week before college opened. On my arrival at the finance office, I'm met with a horrified look of someone seemingly scared senseless at the sight of £1174 in cash. Presumably they're used to students just giving them "mummy and daddy's" bank details to set-up a standing order. After all, it would have given them lots of needless admin to do (government funded/subsidised institutions always enjoy needless admin work)

Yesterday, after opening two weeks later than practically every other HE institution in the country due to renovation work they invite us all in to register, although on the same day that lectures are due to start.

Straight away that seemed like a cack-handed way of doing things, given the administration involved and confidently predicted absolute pandemonium. But on the supposed plus side, it could be done entirely with a few mouse clicks this year.
That's where it all went pear-shaped. The system, to put it bluntly, didn't work. For hours upon hours all people gt were time-out messages, errors, log-on fails and so-on. After restarting the web server twice, database server and practically anything that was plugged into an electric socket, the IT clowns still got nowhere near. Instead they suggested we all try again tomorrow (you can imagine the scene the following day) but there was a problem with that. No registration means no student loan payments and obviously as students, that money is needed at this time of year more than any other, what with the need to pay rent cheques, buy the necessary books and what not, so nobody wanted to leave despite how futile an exercise trying to register actually was.

I gave up and tried at home. Only blind luck eventually got me registered.

Today the problems continued. The online timetable system hasn't worked so half of the students couldn't get access to their timetable because the module codes were wrong and those that did get through were given duff information. That resulted in me missing one lecture this morning.

Surely then, you'd think that things couldn't possibly get any worse? That in all this pandemonium, they'd finally wake up and get things sorted? Well, not exactly. I was handed back someone else's essay feedback for starters and the college are still trying to bullshit people with regards to car parking.
Last year the college started charging £25 for students to park their car on a college campus miles from civilisation. The college is in a rather affluent area of Leeds and as a result, First Leeds don't operate any meaningful bus service to the area, as practically all the residents drive their own Mercs or BMW's. That means that driving is the only real way of getting their and back. The problem with charging for parking permits is that you push drivers into parking on the nearby streets, which has created serious safety hazards for people pulling out of the official car parks onto a busy A-road.
In an attempt to stop that, and email was circulated stating that "the police will hand out penalty notices to anyone parked on Brownberrie Lane or Lea Lane". That "threat" fails on two counts:
1. There are no parking restrictions on the named roads. No yellow lines, no clearways, no nothing.
2. The police are no longer responsible for parking enforcement. That responsibility now falls to Leeds City Council in order to free up police time so that they can do some real police work.

As a customer friendly institution Leeds Trinity & All Saints come at the bottom of the ladder by some distance. The past two years suggested that and less than 48 hours this year has only lowered my opinion of them. No other business can/would treat their customers with such contempt yet still expect them to pay in excess of £6000 in tuition fees over the course of three years and expect to get away with it. They've already made my bastards list, but that probably isn't a grand enough gesture.
I could go on to mention the persistently cancelled lectures, unpunctual lecturers, assignments that are handed out late, tutor strikes, a canteen that shows displays similar attitudes towards customer care and amateurish IT infrastructure but I really don't have the energy.

Two day's into the new academic term and I suspect the problems have only just begun at TASC.