An open letter to all at Sky Sports News

Dear Sky Sports News,


Please be advised that we, the audience, have seen enough of the following:

- Jerzy Dudek's penalty save from Andriy Shevchenko.
- Steven Gerrard's squeaky wailing as he lifts the 2005 Champions League trophy.
- References to how Liverpool came back from 3-0 down against Milan two years ago.
- People queuing in Liverpool John Lennon Airport.
- Statistics on how many planes have left Liverpool John Lennon Airport
- Liverpool fans looking for ticket touts in Athens.
- Features on the bus that was used in Liverpool's 2005 victory parade

Thanks in advance
Michael

How to Ensure a Mass Gathering of Idiots

Late night TV in Britain has always left something to be desired, but late night TV on Sattelite has always left even more to be desired.





Bring up any programme guide and you'll be bombarded with offers of Barely Legal Teens, the 23rd repeat of the day of The Vicar of Dibley or a one of those stupid Quizcall things.
But then of course, there's the football phone-in, 'You're on Sky Sports'.
Sports phone-ins have never really attracted Britain's intelligentsia, but put one on in the middle of the night and you have a recipe for disaster.
I can never really understand the attraction as a viewer, of watching a group of drunken, half-brained fools argue and shout with a couple of ex-pro football players and I certainly don't understand the attraction in paying £1 per minute to argue and shout at said ex-pro footballers.

Sky have hardly tried to take the programme 'upmarket' either and if they have, they're going the wrong way about it by keeping Steve Claridge on there, probably the most self-important person ever to grace a television screen since serial arsehole Rodney Marsh got sacked for making an sick joke about the Tsunami that was completely unfunny to anyone who's brain-cell count consisted of more than a one digit number, which speaks volumes that he found it funny at the time.
A whole hour of moronic moaning at referee's, proclaiming how England are going to win the World Cup and play-ground arguments about how one over-paid prima-donna is better than another over-paid prima-donna.

Perhaps it's all a Government conspiracy to cut down on worker fatigue and get us all to bed earlier, or perhaps it's another money making ploy from Sky, by putting absolute rubbish on it's main channels and getting us to pay £42 to phone up those dolly birds on Quizcall.