Clocking-off

With my credit card about to expire, those lovable folk at HSBC made sure that there was no delay in making sure that my replacement card was popped in the post, arriving more than a month before my current one expires.


As a security measure, these days you can't just open the envelope and start using your card at your whim. Instead, you have to "activate" it. This is done, according to the sticker on the front, by calling a phone number.

Now with almost any banking system these days, the phone is answered by a computer. The robotic voice tells you to press a variety of numeric combinations, some of which I've probably guessed, and within a few minutes, your card is ready to increase the profits of one of the biggest banking organisations in the world.

That would all be absolutely fine and normally, I wouldn't have thought twice, but what caught my attention was the small print under the phone number.

"Lines open between 8:00am and 10:00pm"

May I suggest to HSBC that they change their IT supplier if they have a series of computers that are unable to answer telephones overnight. No doubt they'll probably tell me that using "environmentally friendly computer systems" that clock-off daily is another one of their "initiatives aimed at improving customer service", just like withdrawing their monthly statement service.

Uninformed Technology

The Times have been carrying a few pieces this weekend about how our roads are very dangerous places to be.






In the UK, we all vehicles have to display a small disc in the corner of the windscreen which, for cars, can cost anything between £50 (discounting exempt cars) and £215 a year depending on how much your vehicle harms the local wildlife.

But last year, almost 2.2million people, twice as many as two years ago, didn't bother to purchase the said disc. Now ordinarily, that wouldn't be that big a deal. The only people that would be harmed is HM tax man, and we've got no sympathy for him.
But when it comes to car tax, it becomes a bit more serious. The problem with that is that the tax disc is the primary, ney, only method of proving that a vehicle is insured and has undergone an MOT where necessary, meaning that if there's 2million vehicles that aren't registered and taxed on the DVLA database, then there's probably more than 2million uninsured drivers on our roads as well.

That's bad news for the likes of you and me, who are thought to pay an extra £30 on our premiums to cover for claims involving uninsured motorists and it's even worse news if you're rear-ended by one of the aforementioned group.

But why the increase? Simply, there are less traffic police officers on our highways and byways. Less officers means less chance of getting caught and goes some way to explaining recent rises in drink driving incidents convictions as well. Reduce the chance of getting caught and you immediately reduce the risk.
The Government defends this by saying that technology is able to reduce the workload of traffic officers, and by 'technology', they mean speed cameras, and that this allows them to be deployed elsewhere.

They perhaps haven't realised the pit-falls of such a scheme. Such technology relies on information. Every legally registered car is on a database in Swansea.
So lets say you are photographed by a so-called "safety camera". The camera takes a photograph of your motor and it's unique ID number. Some bloke then comes along, empties the camera film and punches that number into a super-secret computer. The computer then gleefully spits out your name, address and various other nuggets of information about you and your car. The £60 fine is sent out to you - job done.

But take your unregistered cars. Type that number into the same super-secret computer and it'll knock it straight back. The offender gets then gets away with not only driving an illegal vehicle, but also the traffic offence.

The powers that be are determined to tackle the problem and have announced 'new technology' to catch out the offenders, so lets simplify this:
They have information that is flawed...... which means that the technology doesn't work..... so they bring in new technology..... but the new technology relies on information..... but the information is...... Oh I give up!