Know your market

Every now and again, the local free-paper that sometimes turns up is stuffed with leaflets for local window cleaners, drive tarmac'ers and the local supermarkets.



This week, said paper did turn up, with said offers leaflet from said supermarkets.

Now a quick browse through the offers of cheap fish fingers, tinned soups and of course, booze, brought to my attention a drink known as "Red Square".

This Red Square happens to be a vodka-mixer jobbie that is packaged "RTD" (Ready-to-drink, apparently). But what intrigued me more is the tag-line: "Ibiza in a Can".

Now at first it puzzled me as to how you could fit a Balearic Island into a 500ml aluminium container. Then of course, it hits you as to what their audience actually is. The idea of Ibiza that they want to get across isn't sandy beaches, blistering sun and blue seas, it's expensive nightclubs, pissed-up revellers and sick in the streets. Red Square, naturally, prefers to say that the product is aimed at "18-24 year-olds". I prefer to say "aimed at the type of Chavs that watch Jeremy Kyle".

Jerry Springer wannabe Jeremy Kyle has had his chat show blasted as "human bear-baiting" by a judge this week after a studio guest was convicted assaulting another guest during a recording of the show.

Kyle's day-time talk show essentially encourages families from Britain's underclass to come on stage, get their 15 minutes of fame, swear at each other on national TV and then make an emotional pledge never to sleep with the milkman / barmaid / TV repair man ever again. All the while Kyle talks down to them from his high-and-mighty position.

It's a show that always walks the tightrope for what was acceptable and it was only a matter of time before it went too far. Like most ITV shows, it's car-crash television specifically catered for the hard-of-thinking. It's the same reason why Jerry Springer was so popular for a brief period until people started seeing through it.

At least it's good to see ITV's name getting dragged through the gutter once again. A few more premium-rate phone scandals, high profile criticisms and profit warnings and we might see the last of their garbage.