Fish Shop Etiquette

When visiting the local Fish & Chip shop, it is important to remember the proper standards of behaviour that befit such establishments.





When entering the said building it is only proper to wait in line, get to the counter, order fish and chips (but always refer to them as 'once', 'twice' or 'three times' etc depending on how many lots you want) and then leave.
If you are the awkward sort, you may order 'special' items such as chicken nuggets but only on the pretence that you shout your order over the counter to the fishmonger who will have them ready by the time you get to the front.

You do not, under any circumstances whatsoever do the following:
Enter the shop and wait in line until you reach the counter. Once you get to the counter, read off a list of various special items, including chicken, pineapple fritters and the like. Proceed to complain that said items will take 5-10 minutes to prepare and then cause a queue to reach half-way down the A657.

In fact, it's time fish and chip shops were banned from selling anything other than fish, chips and Dandelion and Burdock.