Savage Garden ought to be Rich by Now

Having just got back from the local gym where I had the misfortune of enduring MTV Dance blaring across the room, I couldn't help but notice how dance music is, quite frankly, terrible.

Not only that, but it's not actually 'dance' music. Any half-wit can make a dance track with just a current song, some simple equipment, a Page 3 model and a 15-year old chav.
Granted, these arguments are hardly new. Dance music has always been pretty pants and cover versions are always bad. The only cover version I'd say was better that the original was Natalie Imbruglia's 1997 rendition of Trena Rayne's "Torn". Apart from that, they're all pretty dreadful.

But anyway, here's the perfect recepie for a night-club No1. All you have to do is take a good song that was really popular but hasn't been played in a while. Savage Garden's 'Truly, Madly, Deeply" would be ideal:



Then, take your 15-year old chav (two if you can find enough of them) and give him an electronic drum kit and a sampler and just tell them that they can push any buttons they want.
Come back ten minutes later with a video camera and a Page 3 model. Take the tape that the 15-year old chavs have recorded and then film the aforementioned woman dancing to said tape.

The result should be something like this:



Think of a 'club name' to make you sound brilliant, give said tape to MTV and hey-presto, you'll be rich!

I only hope Savage Garden made Cascada and Co pay through the nose for a copyright licence.