Just because I don't want sauce doesn't mean I come from the planet Zog

Buying sandwiches used to be easy. You'd go to the sandwich shop or bakers and they'd make what you want. If you were a sales rep it was even easier - you just bought them pre-wrapped from a petrol station, it was a time of lunch-time bliss.




But then Subway came along and started making things much more complicated.

Firstly, the staff in Subway are called "Sandwich Artistes", which should set the alarm bells ringing straight away. Any firm that considers bread and chicken as an artform is probably best avoided but given that they are littered across Leeds at the moment, it's hard to avoid them.

Queue up in the local bank-esque barrier system and upon reaching the counter, you are presented with a myriad of options. Firstly, there's the bread. You've got Italian, another type of Italian, Wholemeal, Garlic something and something else - all toasted or non toasted.

The the filling - with cheese, without cheese, with bacon, without bacon. By this time you'd be starting to wish you'd not bothered, thinking "I wasn't that hungry anyway".

Then they move you on to another artiste at the 'salads and sauces' desk. My response of "No thanks, just plain for me" is met with complete amazement from the man behind the counter.
"Really?"
"Yes thanks."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"No sauce either?"
"Yes."
"Oh.......OK then."

His face really was a picture.

Buying a sarnie used to be easy. Thanks to Subway, we now have far too much choice. I still don't know what I ended up buying, but it ended up costing me a fiver.